d.u.p

Beep Beep

2008-11-03T22:28:00.001+11:00

Sorry folks for not updating all of you on the happenings of my little life but there is a reason. My headspace has been centred on one thing, and it, or should I say he has become all consuming. For you see D.U.P has met a guy that he really likes and the guy he really likes really likes him. So what is the problem you’re asking? Well the problem is that this guy has been overseas for three weeks which has meant that the little bit of dating we were doing came to a halt.

Normally I wouldn’t mind and swoon about for a couple of days thinking about him until something else catches my eye like a blue car for example. And I would totally forget about him and just hope that he would contact me when he got back. But the problem is that he’s been in constant contact while travelling around the world which has raised my expectations to a phenomenal height. And this can only be a bad thing.

I absolutely hate dating. I hate the not knowing if the other person is interested and reading into everything that’s said and done. It’s hard enough when you’re face to face and seeing each other regularly, but when it’s all text messaging it’s all about working out the context.

I’ve been trying to work out why I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing. I should be happy and content. The timeline has been pretty simple. I met a guy. We went on two dates. And he’s been in constant contact since he’s been away. So what the fuck is my problem, and just writing this now I’m asking myself that same question. But there is something on my mind and it’s quite silly, but it’s been niggling away at me.

The problem is that the text messages have turned quite sexual, so sexual in fact that it could see me unable to walk for a week (which is good, it’s been a looooong time). I just have this thing about when the conversation turn all sexual because it usually ends pretty quickly afterwards. The guy has his fix, hopefully he has his fix again and then he moves on. Leaving me in a pool of sweat wondering where he’s gone.

I can hear you all saying, there’s not much point worrying about things you have no control over. But when you really like someone it really hurts when they’ve shown a real interest only to piss off as fast as they came onto the scene.

Sunday night at the Movies.... Oranges

2008-10-26T22:36:00.002+11:00

Part I

.

Part II

Diary entry 344643

2008-09-29T20:19:00.005+10:00

Dear Diary,

Howdy Diary, hope you’re well. Sorry, I shouldn’t write with my hands full so please excuse me for a minute while I polish off this box of BBQ Shapes. Ok done! Sorry about that, for some reason I’ve been so hungry today that nothing’s past my mouth without being sucked in.

Now where was I? I think last time I wrote in you I said I was going to write about boys in the next entry, so let’s get into it.

Boys: I’m not sure why or how, but for the majority of the year I had no interest in meeting guys, romantically or for sexual purposes. I was totally motivated with my running and work. Well ok not work, but I was definitely pre-occupied with running. I even went gay camping with about 20 other guys and still even then I had no thoughts of jumping into someone sleeping bag and pitching their tent.

However the urge to meet a guy soon became strong so I began the search. I hadn’t been out of the game for that long, eight months (yes eight months) at best, but in that time the dating/hookup game had changed. I mean, who the fuck knew finding a root in this city was so hard.

I thought I was on a roll, within a couple of weeks I had meet four guys. Each different, each hot in their own way, and as it turns out each flawed beyond belief. The first guy made contact with me. His profile read quite well, we had a lot in common, sport, music etc. And not to mention he was hot, with muscles that begged to be hung on to. We chatted for about a week, probing each other with questions. We soon started chatting via Webcam and I found it odd that he wore next to nothing. I just thought it was him showing off the muscles, but when he started to dodge the question about where he lived I soon became suspicious. While at the footy was I chatting to a friend about Mr Muscles and told her about all the Tank tops he wore. It was the end of Winter, so wearing Tank tops wasn’t really the right attire. Then she said “You better make sure he lives in Victoria”. As it turned out, Mr Muscles and I chatted that night and he told me where he lived. Although it was technically still in the State it might as well not of been. Although I love the Murray River, Mildura was just a little too far away for a hook up. We’re not in contact.

Then came guy number two. Guy number two didn’t have the muscles of the first, but he was really nice and quite cute. We started chatting and thankfully he told me on the first or second chat that he was moving back to Adelaide. We still kept chatting and got on really well. We met up for a drink and then two nights later I headed over to his house to stay the night. Unfortunately we got on to well. We got on that well that he couldn’t have sex with me. He said that he found it hard to mix sex and friendship and said that with me it couldn’t just be about sex. I found it sweet but at the same time it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I so desperately wanted him. Sitting next to all night was excruciating, I did everything in my power from not jumping him. It was hard, in more ways than one. In the end I didn’t even get a kiss. We’re still in contact.

The next guy owned a dog. A big dog. A scary dog that never once said hello. The dog thought he was to cool for school and had no reason to be. It was big and dopey. They say dogs are like their owners, so you can see where that date went. We’re still in contact. (God knows why)

That brings me to guy number four. After the “success” of the previous guys, I wasn’t really in the mood to muck around. By now I wanted sex, just sex, nothing else, absolutely nothing but sex. Thankfully that’s all this guy wanted. He had all the right qualities for good sex. He was bloody hot, well educated (a Doctor) and knew how to talk dirty. So dirty in fact that he loved phone sex. I’m not a fan of phone sex, I like to touch and feel my way around a body, but I was willing to do it for him. So I pretended to get off, while he actually did get off. Then one Mild Sunday afternoon, he came over. And boy was he mighty fine in person. We pretty much got to business. He was a great kisser. We kissed while we removed each other’s clothes. We kissed as we stumbled into the bedroom. We kissed while exploring each other’s bodies, just like we had spoken about on the phone. Then without warning he virtually stopped. He wanted me to continue but it’s a little off putting when the other person isn’t really into it. In the end we just laid on the bed chatting. Although it was nice, it wasn’t what I wanted. It turned out to be like his dick, full of expectations but delivered absolutely nothing. We’re not in contact.

Diary entry 113215

2008-09-23T21:48:00.001+10:00

Dear Diary,

G’day Diary, it’s been a long time since I’ve written in you, in fact it’s been over a year, so it’s a little hard to know where to start. I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis on the last six months.

Work: Work has been going well, in fact it’s still plain sailing really. In most work places it’s best if you’re on top of your work, but not in mine. During the midst of Winter I found it hard to get motivated with all the shitty weather. So I slacked off and fell a bit behind, well so I thought. The boss didn’t say anything so I stayed lazy. I went to 13 sessions at the Melbourne International Film Festival, caught up with friends and even trained for Half Marathon’s all during work hours. (Well most of the films were after work hours, but a lot were during) So about a month ago I decided to pull my finger out and do some work. And what a big mistake that was. For a week I worked my butt off and put in the hours. Well when I say hours I mean actually do a full days work, ie 9 to 5, instead of 10 till 3. As a result of my hard work ethic I had nothing to do for the following week. The boss didn’t know what to do and just sent me out driving around all day making notes of when the new estates would potentially be ready. He never asked for my notes, which is good because I never did it lol. I just stayed at home watching DVDs.

Running: Well during the last year I’ve gotten into running like no ones business. In fact I’ve gotten into that much that I now prefer to go running early in the mornings instead of getting on the piss at nights. I know it’s a weird concept but it’s true. Take last weekend for instance. I had a cocktail party to go to but I just couldn’t get into it. The cocktails were flowing, and then the beer. It was a perfect situation to be in to get shit faced, but I just couldn’t get in to it because I wanted to go running the next morning. At the start of the year I completed my first half marathon which was a huge milestone for me since I could barely run 10kms two years ago without walking and looking around for an oxygen tank. In three weeks I have another one which I’m really looking forward to and I hope I smash my previous time to pieces.

Boys: Well this subject is quite lengthy and is going to have to wait for my next entry. So until next time Diary, Ciao for now.

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. S III,Ep I

2008-09-15T14:46:00.004+10:00

(for Richard Watts ;-p )

Woo hoo

2008-09-13T07:29:00.004+10:00

How cool is this. It's taken early two years, and a lot of hours of research, but I've finally made it. I've finally made it into the porn industry baby!!

Now someone out there thinks that the content on this blog is "objectionable". Well if they think that naked drunk boys is "objectionable" just wait until they see the posts I've got lined up!! Mmmmmhahahahahahahaha

Enjoy the weekend everybody.... oh and the boys will be back on Monday ;-)

The Adventures of He-Man

2008-09-08T16:08:00.004+10:00

The Vagina of Death

High above the planet of Zondor, the imperial fleet were orbiting the Dearth Star IV. Inside one of the ships, He-Man, Orko and Battle Cat were looking for Teela who was in the clutches of the Vagina of Death.

Teela: “Heeeeeee-Maaan, Heeeeeeeelp.”

He-Man: “Can you hear that Orko? It sounds like Teela, quick this way.”

He-Man sets off down one of the corridors in the direction of where the screams were coming from. They run down a narrow hallway and come up against a thick metal door.

He-Man: “Ah fuck it, it’s locked. Orko, quick go over to the controls and open it.”

Orko: “What? Who do you think I am, bloody R2D2 or something?”

He-Man: “Oh for fuck sakes!”

Sick of Orko’s stupidity, He-Man picks up Orko by his hat and throws him into the control panel smashing it into thousands of pieces. The door begins to open slowly but stops about a metre above the ground. He picks up Orko and throws him under the door. Cringer then follows, and He-Man goes in last.

Teela: “He-Man is that you?”

He-Man : “Yes, where are you?”

Teela: “I’m down here, quick I can’t hold on for much longer.”

He-Man looks down into the Vagina of Death. He grabs Teela by the wrist and lifts her up onto the platform.

He-Man: “Are you ok?”

Teela: “Yes I’m fine, I do smell a bit fishy from being down there for that long, but I’ll be fine. But that’s not important, we need to get out of here.

He-Man: “I agree. Ok Orko, we need you to concentrate and get us out of here. If you don’t you’ll be going down there.” He looks down into the Vagina of Death.

Still feeling quite dizzy, Orko gets up and starts to cast the Stomping Tree spell that produced the Wormhole which got them into this situation in the first place.

Teela: “Nothing’s happening, great we’re going to be stuck here for ever.”

He-Man: “Well Orko, you know what this means. It means I’m going to have to kill you.”

He-Man walks towards Orko with his hands in the choking position. Orko moves backwards until he’s at the edge of the Vagina of Death. He looks down into the hole and to his delights see’s the wormhole.

Orko: “Wait.. wait! The wormhole. It’s down there!”

They all stand at the edge of the Vagina of Death and peer in.

Teela: “Ok everybody, on the count of three, we’ll all jump in. Oh, and just remember, cover your nose!”

Everyone held hands and on the count of three they all jumped into the Vagina of Death falling towards the wormhole. On the otherside of the wormhole the four of them fall from the ceiling of Greyskull where The Sorceress was waiting to greet them.

The Sorceress: “Heeeeeelooooooo:”

To be continued.........

Time of your life.

2008-09-03T22:32:00.003+10:00

Previously on Time of your Life Episode VI
John and Henry just stood there looking at each other not knowing what to do. If anything they were both very embarrassed. John felt like he should say something. “Ahhhh ahh hello, ummmmmm how are you?”
“Bonsoir John, here, let me help you up.”
“Thank you.”
“What were you doing on the floor, did you slip?” enquired Henry inquisitively.
“Well, ahhh that’s a good question. I dropped some money!” John replied with raised eyebrows, he eyed off Henry to see if he had bought it.
“You were spying on me weren’t you?” Henry asked with a slight smile on his face.
“Yes, I mean no… no I wasn’t spying on you, well I didn’t know it was you. Trust me I don’t normally purve on people having sex in public toilets, honestly I don’t!!” stated John who by now was red raw in the face.
“That’s ok I don’t normally have sex in public toilets”
“So I guess we’re both purverts.”
“Ha, speak for yourself. I wasn’t the one looking through the toilet door!!”
John sensed that he had offended Henry with his pervert comment and quickly tried to resolve the issue. “Can I buy you a beer, oh that’s unless you’re with that other guy.”
“No I’m not with that other guy and yes I would love a beer, but on one condition!”
“Yes what’s that?” asked John a little nervous.
“You wash your hands first!” stated Henry smiling.
“You’re on.”
“I’ll meet you at the bar” said Henry making his way to the door. “Don’t be too long!”

John stood in front of the washroom mirror totally embarrassed from what just took place. He really wanted to see Henry again but not like this, he wanted it to be a little more special, maybe a little more on the romantic side. John quickly washed his hands and turned to face the dryer, as he did so the door to the toilet swung open collected John in the side of the head. He hit the floor with a thud, he was out cold.

Now for Episode VII

Henry sat at the bar with a huge smile on this face. The pub was packed, and the music was blearing from the band who were playing at the back on the joint, but Henry didn’t notice any of it. He was lost in thought, just rerunning what just happened in the toilets over and over again, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He wasn’t sure if it was the coke he just scored off his last trick or the fact he bumped into John, either way he was on a massive high.

Henry was from the village of La Ciotat, a small and picturesque village in the south of France. Situated between Marseille and Toulon, the village swelled during the summer months with tourists and holiday makers. In La Ciotat, Henry worked in a cafe called Cap Canaille Cafe, which Henry never really understood, because Cap Canaille, a magnificent cliff jutting out from the coastline, was actually about 20kms down the road in Cassis. Henry had once asked the owner, Madame Roche why she had called it that. She stated that it was where she had met her first love. A young Spanish Fisherman who went by the name of Rico. Although lovely, but absolutely ugly and quite insane, Henry was mortified when Madame Roche went into extraordinary detail about their brief love affair. Although possible, Henry didn’t believe the story and thought it was more likely that Madame Roche had called the cafe after the cliff because she had wanted to jump off it.

It had almost been 15 minutes since Henry had left the bathroom and still no sign of John. Hmmmmm, he’s either a very clean boy washing his hands or he’s fled thought Henry. He turned his stool around to face the bathroom and watched the comings and goings. Each time the door swung open, he sat at the edge of his seat hoping it was him. On closer inspection of the doorway he noticed that there were a few people gathering around the entrance peering in. He watched wondering what was going on, and hoped that it wasn’t John putting on some kind of show in there. Then, with quite some force, the door swung open and a guy, dressed in jeans, a light blue t-shirt and a very fetching jacket, came racing over to the bar. “Vous appelle une ambulance s'il vous plait!!!” yelled the guy, “Maintenant... maintenant!”

An ambulance thought Henry, what the hell is going on in there? He got up from the stool and made his way over to the bathroom door. The crowd hanging around had grown even more, so he could only peer over people’s heads. He asked the person next to him if they knew what was going on, and found out some guy had passed out in there and wasn’t waking up. Within minutes the Paramedic’s had arrived and were escorted into the bathroom. As the door swung open Henry stood on his tippy toes trying to look in, but it was no use.

It had felt like hours since the Paramedic’s had entered the toilets, and there was still no sign of John. “mouvement, move back” said the guy who had first ran over to the bar to notify the bartender exiting the bathroom. All Henry could do was stand there as the Paramedic’s wheeled the trolley past the onlookers. The bar was now completely quiet, apart from a drunk few who were completely oblivious to what was happening. As the trolley rolled past Henry, his heart sank as he looked at the face of the guy laying on it. It was of course John.

Cumming Soon!

2008-08-28T17:16:00.004+10:00

You thought he had gone.
You thought that there would be no more drunken straight boys.
You thought that you would have to remove your favourite link to porn, hot boys,nudity and of course Vivian.

Well think again.... coming soon to a blog near you (this one!!) D.U.P will be back for another season of D.U.P; pants still down.

Until then...... it's time for another episode of Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras.

It's time

2008-04-12T00:05:00.003+10:00

I’ve been sitting at my computer for the last few hours thinking of something to write. Normally an idea would just come to me, but for the last couple of months it’s become increasing difficult to write anything. I have ideas and stories, but they just don’t seem to suit the Downunderpants theme. In the back of my mind the idea of ending this Blog was lurking, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. But tonight it has become clear that Downunderpants has run out of puff. My pants are coming up.

I guess the reason why I haven’t brought myself to end Downunderpants sooner, is because this Blog has meant so much to me. It sounds silly, I mean it’s just a blog, but to be honest I’m not sure where I would be without having started it. Downunderpants has been my outlet, my place in the world where I could let it all hang out. It’s been my place to laugh and cry. My place to rant and rave and just be plain silly, but most of all, it’s been a place where I could just be me.

I remember quite clearly how it all started. And at the time I had no idea what I wanted to say or do with it, all I knew was that I had an overwhelming urge to connect. To connect with people who I thought I would never meet, and have no interaction with other than written text. Well so I thought.

As the months went on, and as it all unravelled, it turned out that I would get to meet some of these people. Some would turn out to be people who I would occasionally see out at certain venues. These people would, and continue to make the night fun and exciting. Others would become close friends, friends not only here in Melbourne, but also in other cities. And one would become a close and trusted friend, in fact, he became a best friend. Something that grew out of a drunken night out, on my part, and turned into something organic and easy. And then there were the people who just stopped by to read.

And it is you all now that I now reluctantly say goodbye to. Although it’s not really a final goodbye, I’ll still be around, reading Blogs and lurking in the background. So thank you for making the last two years fun and enjoyable, and thank you for helping me connect. But most of all, thank you for stopping by.

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXIX

2008-03-13T19:53:00.003+11:00

Keating

2008-03-08T20:09:00.000+11:00

I’ve always thought that you can make the most boringest (that’s not a word, but I’m using it) topic, issue or event interesting by putting it to song. So making a Musical about politics to some people would be the most boringest (I’m sticking with the word) thing ever. I on the other hand love politics, and I love a good song so when I was offered the chance to see Keating the Musical, after bugging friends for months to see it, which they all declined sadly, I quickly jumped at the chance.

Playing to a packed house, the Comedy Theatre proved to be the perfect setting for the musical. With only a long black box, a six piece band and some blinking party lights for the set, the cast created a fast moving and thoroughly entertaining show.

With so many songs, all show stoppers, it’s hard to pick out a favourite. There’s Ruler of the Land, The Mateship, The John Hewson Rap and so many others. But my favourite was the Alexander Downer drag song, He’s a Freak. If only I had an isle seat so I could slap his arse. Oh well, next time maybe.

You know you’ve been watching too much porn when…….

2008-03-06T08:35:00.003+11:00

.......when your memory recall to a face that’s familiar is to associate that person with a Porn Star!

Yep I have a serious porn problem. You know when you bump into someone you haven’t seen in years, and can’t recall where you know them from. Well normally you would rack your brain trying to think where you know them from. Well not me, well, not me anymore.

Last night while exiting the supermarket I ran into a friend who was with another guy who I faintly recognised. Then I remembered who he was, he was Logan from Corbin Fisher. Have you noticed my proplem yet? The next thing that came to my head was “what the fuck, Logan, Corbin Fisher Logan, you are a stupid mother fucker.”

In the end he turned out to be a Uni mate of mutual friend, and shock horror not a porn star. I wonder if it's to late to start Lent? If not, I think I may have to give up porn for a month!

Nailed

2008-03-05T14:55:00.000+11:00

Mmmmmmmm, my two favourite things. Nudity and Sport!

Sydney in pictures

2008-03-03T22:17:00.003+11:00

Oh my gawd

2008-02-25T20:05:00.003+11:00

Oh my gawd! I've just downloaded arguably the hottest porn ever. It's so hot that you forget to masturbate! Yep, you just sit there and watch, especially the guy getting fucked. OMG those eyes, OMG that smile SWOOON!!

Here's the link. Tell me if you agree. Are these two the hottest mother fuckers EVER??

We were jibbed

2008-02-06T10:18:00.000+11:00

Remember when you were a kid, and your Mum or Dad took you to see a stage performance at the local shopping centre? If you lived in a major city you would probably get an A List Child performer, say Humphrey B Bear, or if you were really lucky, Fat Cat. If, like me, you didn't live in a major city or town you probably were just as excited to see the local tool trying to make balloon animals. And walking away from that performance you were quite content with your balloon animal. Sure, you probably spent the rest of the day trying to work out what it was, but you loved it none the less.

Well I can officially say that us kids of the early 70's to late 80's that we were jibbed. After grabbing a quick bite to eat at my local shopping centre, I was shocked at what I stubbled upon. On the centre stage stood Dorothy the Dinosaur, dancing and singing away. Beside her stood a 50 inch plasma. A 50 inch fucking plasma people!! No shitty balloons, no lollies or crappy clowns making animal balloons, just a dirty big plasma.

Fucking jibbed i say, JIBBED!!

Let the games begin.... update

2008-02-04T09:21:00.000+11:00

Well I didn’t have to push anyone into Albert Park Lake, although I did want to push two kids who were wobbling all over the place on their bikes and getting in my way.

It was a perfect Saturday morning down at the lake. The Sun was shinning. Joggers were jogging. Rowers were doing their thing out in the lake. And 80 odd people were stretching their little legs before the 1st Asia Pacific Outgames running event kicked off. I’m not sure what everyone else was feeling, but boy was I nervous.

Then, after what felt like hours, we were off. First off were the people who were doing the 5km event. Five minute later the rest of us were off. Now as any one who has run in a fun run will know that you tend to dash off from the start line from all the excitement. I had told myself that I wouldn’t do it, and thank fuck I didn’t. As the gun went, we all headed off, but some of the guys must have thought it was a 100m sprint. Before long they were a little blur off in the distance.

After the first lap I was ready to die. It was that hot and humid and not ideal conditions to run in. As I ran past the start/finish line I watched as the 5km runners finished their race, and all I was thinking went a little something like this. “Fuckers! c*nts! mother fuckers! Why the fuck did I choose to run the fucking 10km event?? Fuck its hot!!” Thankfully on the second lap of the lake there was some temporary relief. Five physically perfect guys, all shirtless, exercising away on the parks exercise equipment, oh yeah.

Then finally, after what felt like hours, the finish line was in sight. And just like at the start, it felt like a fuzzy blur off in the distance that didn’t seem to get any closer. However there’s nothing like a clapping crowd to get you moving even though you feel like absolute shit. Thundering down the main straight looking like I had been running at this pace all race and trying to make it look like it was a walk in the park, I crossed the finish line in 47mins, a new PB!!

It was a great day, and a well organised event. But the best thing of all was when my name got called out for the Bronze Medal for my age group. Wooo Hooo!!

Let the games begin

2008-01-28T22:19:00.000+11:00

It’s official, I’m finally an athlete. Sure, I had to pay $80 to become one but let’s not worry about that tiny little fact. Some of you may or may not know that the 1st AsiaPacific Outgames will commence this Thursday right here in Melbourne.

As a member of Frontrunners, the gay and lesbian running group, I will be running in the 10km race held at Albert Park Lake on Saturday. I’ve been putting in the hard yards training for the event, and so far I’ve been injury free, touch wood. However if I’m not doing very well, I’ll follow a few simple rules that have been rehearsed at Olympic Games since the 70’s.

The first one requires little effort and I’m sure it’s practiced by all athletes at a top level. If anyone laps you, simply push them into the lake. It’s a little heartless but it’s a shallow lake so I’m sure they’ll be fine. The main thing is that by the time they get out of the lake you’ll be well on your way to the finish line. The second one is more strategic and requires the help of your friends. All you do is get about half a dozen of your most attractive friends and place them around the course. All they had to do is stop the lead runners and pretend to ask for directions in a flirty nature, while you quickly run past to victory.

The final plan isn’t vindictive or heartless, and it probably won’t even get you to the finish line in a reasonable time. It’s more a plan to get you that man of your dreams or at the very least a root. It’s also simple and doesn’t require much effort. The plan is to watch who’s coming up behind you and if you like what you see, simple fall over in front of them and fall to the ground together. As you’re lying there on the ground, make out it’s his fault for tripping you. As you dust yourself off, look up and gaze into his eyes while romantic music plays in the background. If all goes well, you’ll be booking yourself into a hotel room across the way on Queens Road.

Now if all that fails I’ve still got my secret weapon, my very own Gummiberry juice!

See you at the games!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXIX

2008-01-21T21:08:00.000+11:00

Lazy

2008-01-14T15:23:00.000+11:00

As far as jobs go, I’m pretty lucky. There’s little to no stress, no paying for petrol. Long lunches, which in the past have included a movie, and because I work from home, no boss standing over my shoulder. Not having a boss standing over your shoulder can have its downside. A touch of laziness can tend to creep into the working day, and one day late last year that laziness reached new heights.

It was a Thursday night. A friend who I had once worked with invited me over for dinner and moral support as she was having man troubles. As soon as I had walked through her door I was handed a glass of wine, which was quickly followed by another. And then another and then another. Before we knew it, it was almost 10 o’clock and way to late to start making dinner. We decided to head across the road to Fitzroy Street St Kilda to grab something to eat. After grabbing a quick bite we moved on to another establishment where we stayed until the wee hours of the morning until we decided to finally head home, both pissed as maggots.

The next morning I awoke in a room that looked unfamiliar, and with a head that felt like I had smashed it against a brick wall, not once, but many times. After I realised where I was I checked the time to which I was shocked to realise it was almost 10:30am. With a quick “oh fuck” I jumped out of bed, got dressed and then ran downstairs to my car for a quick dash home. Once home I checked my phone and found that my boss hadn’t called or emailed. I was safe.

I had a quick shower and then settled at my computer, trying to figure out where to start. The thought of doing absolutely nothing seemed to be winning out over doing some actual work. Then my own mobile rang. It was a guy who I had been chatting to for the last couple of weeks.

The guy was in the area and wanted to hookup. We hadn’t met yet, but he seemed like a fairly decent guy so I invited him over. Normally I don’t go for young guys, but this guy was cute and he sounded quite mature on the phone. Although after I opened the door to him I wondered if he had sent his little brother over in his place. He was weedy and looked like he had spent the last few days living like Oscar the Grouch. Although he didn’t smell, he looked very dirty.

As the dirty looking boy sat on my clean couch chatting away, all I could think about was how the hell do I get him out of my house. And then my phone rang, it was my boss. I didn’t want to answer it but it was better than listening to the Oscar the Grouch impersonator. My boss wanted to see me, and he didn’t want to shoot the breeze, he wanted to discuss my performance. Oh fuck I thought. I explained to the guy that I had to head out to my work and that he would have to be on his way, back to God knows where, but at least it would be off my couch.

Once I arrived at work, with my heart in my pocket thumping like crazy, I sat down at my boss’ desk. Like always he was trying to do ten things at once, all badly, while trying to make jokes, also badly. He finally finished what he was doing and then turned his attention to me. I thought I was a goner, sacked, out on my arse, tossed to the curb, but not this day.

He started off by saying that I had been there for just over a year now and how well I had been doing. He said that he had discussed my performance with the other director and they wanted to reward me with a pay rise. Like always he never actually gave a figure and said that they would sort that out later. I pushed him for an answer. I asked how much they were thinking. He said he didn’t know, but he was thinking on the lines of 4k.

I left the office about an hour after my meeting, after I had chatted to everyone in the office and after finishing my beer. I also left with a healthier looking bank balance, a 5k more a year healthier bank balance. Who knew being a lazy bastard could be so profitable!

Decending stairs

2008-01-09T22:36:00.000+11:00

D.u.p turned around after buying a drink to see him standing there. Short, dark and handsome. His name was B. D.u.p didn’t know B was coming so it turned out to be a nice surprise. They had met several times before but never really hit it off, and although d.u.p didn’t know it at the time, he would soon learn that their third encounter would be different.

D.u.p handed out the drinks that he had just bought at the bar, and made his way over to B. He usually found B standoffish and distant, the sort of occurrence you get from a first date. Similar to a pungent stale air that wont blow away, but not this time. After the “Hi, how are you’s” had been taken care of, the conversation took of a life of its own. There we many in the room in the little pub in the back streets of Carlton, but the two gay boys only had eyes for each other. Deep in conversation for over an hour, a tap on my shoulder signalled the end of our chat. The party was on the movie, off to another pub to meet up with everyone else.

D.u.p had been at the other pub for well over an hour without any sight of B. Although preoccupied in conversations with the people at the party, his mind was still fixated on another. As with most things, his fixation was soon abandoned with the aid of the amber ale. Then, on the way to the toilet, he spotted B. B was standing up against a pillar, looking in d.u.p’s direction. Their eyes met and a quick exchange took place. A subtle nod of the head, accompanied with a smile.

D.u.p descended the stairs that lead down from the toilets and made his way over to B. B was chatting quietly to a couple of d.u.p’s friends, know doubt asking probing questions for me, just like they had been trained to do. As he approached, he accidentally stepped into the middle of a dancing mob to which he was quickly seised. Unfortunately the dancing mob failed to realise that their need for a decent dancer would lead to d.u.p never seeing B again for the rest of the night. Was this to be the last time he saw B?

To be continued……..

We interupt this broadcast.....

2007-12-09T10:28:00.000+11:00

After a much needed rest d.u.p will be returning to a computer screen near you early in the New Year. Until then, enjoy the drunk/horny boys:

400,000 thank yous!

2007-10-09T16:45:00.000+10:00

One year and five months. Four hundred and twenty four posts. Two thousand and five really crappy posts that didn’t make the grade. Heaps of pics of naked men, and a lot more pics of scantily clad men later, D.U.P reaches over 400,000 hits. I’m still amazed that people keep stopping by to read what ever I’ve got to say however stupid or random it is, and to you I say thank you.

However, in saying that, D.U.P needs a rest. For the last month or so I’ve been finding it extremely hard to put fingers to keyboard and type out something interesting or at the very least, worth reading. Will I be back? Yes.

And for all you Bloggers out there, I’ll still be reading what you’ve written and harshly criticise it where possible!

See you soon!

hook me up

2007-10-07T20:45:00.001+10:00

I haven’t been going out much lately so finding an eligible bachelor has meant that I’ve had to resort to finding them online. My luck of finding decent men online hasn’t been that good, and lately the ones that I’m finding, or the ones that are finding me are just plain freakish.

I guess if you’re trying to find Love (nods head) and not “Love” (shakes head) online you’re on the back foot from the start. As a rule I try to stay away from the profiles that have more on offer than a Myer Stocktake sale, but for some reason these guys like finding me. Well I could be wrong, maybe these guys are after something more than just sex, but with usernames like Gagging4it, arsebandit#1 or cumramme, I’m not too sure.

Then there are the profiles that state that the men behind them want something more than a quickie behind the toilet block. I’m a sucker for these profiles, I just can’t help myself, I must send a message. Now if the profile says that they are into chatting why the fuck to they stop chatting after you’ve replied to their Thanks for the message message.

Now I’m pretty sure I’ve never been to Mexico before, I mean I’m pretty sure I would remember going there. I’m not sure why or how but I seem to have become a big hit there. Hopefully someone hasnt sent a sextape that I’m unaware of because I’ve never received so many winks before in my life. I did update my profile a while ago so I thought I may have changed my location, but alas it still said Australia. Sarcasm aside, it is quite comforting to know that if ever I can’t find a man here, there’s a few eligible 40 year old Mexicans who want me.

Maybe I’m going about it the wrong way, maybe I need to go about the whole dating game like the skanks in movies. Nine times out of ten they always find themselves in a relationship they weren’t expecting by the end of the movie. Usually a hunk, usually rich, or if not rich, well on their way to being so. Or maybe I need to look towards my friends. They really haven’t been pulling their weight in our friendship. Surely one of them has someone they know who’s desperate and dateless. Come on fellers “Hook me up”

Island dreaming. Part IV

2007-10-03T22:27:00.001+10:00

“You’re here because of me?” I enquired red faced but intrigued. Everyone’s eyes then fixed on me. I could hear their minds turn over with a thousand questions, “what have these two been doing”, “oh look out, go dup” for example. The Stranger reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather shiny object. It was hard to make it out as his hands blocked most of it. “Yes, you must have dropped this when we got knocked to the ground at the village gate.” The Stranger extended his arm and slowly opened his hand that was clutching the mysterious object. He opened his hand revealing the object that he had sort me out to give back. It was my ankle bracelet.

I held out my hand as he slowly lowered the anklet into my palm. “Oh thank you for bringing it back, I thought I had lost it swimming today” I replied looking into his deep blue eyes. The Stranger finally placed the anklet into my hand but took his time removing his hand which was now touching mine. My heart skipped a beat as I realised I had been staring at him for far too long. The boys around us looked on in quiet wonderment. “Would you like a drink” I asked him, holding up an empty plastic cup.
“Yeah sure, thank you.”

By this time, the sun had set hours earlier but it still remained hot and sticky. There was no escaping the humidity that drenched the air around us. The fans above did their best to move the sticky air but the task was too great. The only thing that made you escape the heat was to drink in excess. The six of us laid on the bunk beds trying not to move. The Stranger was never short of words, but nothing he said registered in my head. I was fixated on him and him alone. He laid on his back with his drink in his hand regaling a story from a recent event that could of contained either a cat or a giraffe, I didn’t care. My concentration was locked on his perfect body. As he laughed his stomach tensed, as he moved his cup up to his mouth, his bicep bulged. I even got lost in the slight trail of hair that led from his navel down to the top of his shorts.

I wanted to take him there and then. I wanted to kiss him passionately. I wanted to be held tightly in his arms for the rest of the night. It was all a possibility at this point in time, and all I had to do was move over to my bed which was where he was laying. I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or just the heat, or a combination of both, but I was about to make a move. I had to get close to him, I had to have him.

I sat up on the bed and placed my hands on the edge of the bunk. I swung my feet around and dangled them over the edge of the bed. My hands gripped the wooden edging of the bed as I lifted myself to the ground. My heart began to beat hard. I was going to do this, I was going to make my move, I was going to make my move in front of everyone.

As I stood there, moments away from making my move, a thunderous rabble burst through the large wooden doors on the side of the bure. In the group stood six girls, four were tall and beautiful; the other two were short and plumpish. They stood in the doorway looking around the room for either something they had lost or what they classified as theirs. Spotting what they were after they moved across the room towards us. They stopped in front of our beds and then split off to their respective man. I watched as four of the six girls made their way of to my mates and sat down beside them. Those four girls were the tall and beautiful ones, which left the two roundish ones to my left. I could hear one beside me, wheezing and smelling of cheese. “Hi dup, I haven’t seen you all day. In fact, I haven’t seen you since last night” said the round girl with the unique smell. Like a vinyl record being ripped off the player, I awoke from my island dream and slipped back into my nightmare. My straight nightmare.

Mad Mondays

2007-10-01T17:32:00.000+10:00

This week, DUP is on location and will be coming to you from a gym near you. For the last year and a bit I’ve worked hard to drop those unwanted kilos, so it’s been a long time since I’ve had a weekend full of food and booze. For those of you who don’t live in Australian or those of you who don’t give a shit about sport, the weekend just gone saw the playing of the AFL and NRL Grand Finals.

It’s one of my favourite weekends, right up there with Easter and Christmas. And who wouldn’t like it. A weekend with mates, a beer or alcoholic drink of your choice in one hand and the other hand constantly in motion from a bowl filled with junk food to your mouth. The only time you have to get up from your seat is when it’s your shout for a beer or if the food bowls are empty.

So in honour of the Geelong Football Team and the Melbourne Storm, here’s a special edition of the Drunk boys.

Mad Mondays.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and squeeze into my new hot pink mini skirt and head down to Geelong before I miss Mad Monday. Hopefully the boys will be that blind they won’t recognise that the pretty blonde in the hot pink mini skirt is in fact a guy. Now where did I leave that red lip stick………

Island dreaming. Part III

2007-09-28T18:10:00.000+10:00

Above our heads the ceiling fans spun around in a crazy whirl. A slight, but ineffective breeze blew through the mesh walls blowing even more warm air into the bure. The five of us, myself, and the four mates I came with to the island with, laid on our bunks in a circle. We huddled around one of the guys who was on the ground hunched over an item that we all had great interest in. Beads of water began to appear on his forehead, his hands shook, no one said a word.

His hands still shook as he raised two of the glasses up to eyelevel. “Ah bugger it, that’s good enough” he said as he handed out the glasses of Watermelon vodka with lemonade. As the five of us sat on our beds drinking the duty free alcohol, four tall men walked into the bure and sat down at the bunks opposite us.

The four men, probably in there late twenties spoke with a Scandinavian accent. All four of them were over six foot and by the looks of them they had been on the backpacking trail for months. Two of the guys were blonde haired, one was a brunette, while the last guy had a shaved head revealing a little scare just behind his ear. All four men were drop dead gorgeous but I couldn’t keep my eyes off the dark haired guy.

He stood with his back towards me as he talked to one of the blonde guys. He knelt down to his locker revealing the small of his back, it looked soft and brown. He rummaged through his backpack pulling out clothes and laying them on his bunk. He stood up and slowly lifted his t-shirt over his head exposing his brown and muscular back. He picked up the towel that was beside him and put it over his shoulder. With each movement he made the muscles in his back rippled. He placed his hands on the top of his shorts and slowly pulled them down. He wasn’t wearing any underwear which meant that he was now standing in the middle of the bure naked. As he stepped out of his shorts he pulled the towel from his shoulder and placed it around his waist. Picking up his toilet bag he turned around revealing his washboard stomach.

As he walked past on his way to the showers he caught eye of me staring at him. I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment. Before I could turn my head he smiled and gave me a wink. Our eyes locked for a brief moment as he walked by not noticing the other guy walking towards him. Both men were knocked backwards as their shoulder’s collided, sending each of them to the ground. Apologising to each other as they got up, both men checked to see if the other was ok. Realising every thing was, the Danish guy headed off to the showers, while the other guy dusted himself off. He then turned around revealing his face. It was The Stranger.

He sort out my mate, the one who was also in the broken down spa with us. My mate introduced him to the rest of the guys, and then ended the introductions with me. “Oh you remember Dup don’t you?” my mate asked with a slight smile.
“Yes… yes I remember Dup. He’s the reason why I’m here!”

To be continued……..

Summer fun

2007-09-24T17:31:00.000+10:00

During the long summer holidays when I was a kid I usually spent it with my cousin. She was a couple of years younger than I but it didn’t seem to matter. For the most part we spent our days down at the local swimming pool. Just mucking around, playing those childish pool games that young kids do. Games like, who can do the best back flip into the pool without smacking your head on the side. Or, try and guess a certain song sung underwater.

She was the youngest of three. Her older siblings, who were both boys, were quite a few years older than her. I didn’t really get on with them, they were a bit too scary for my liking. We did our best to avoid the boys, but they always seemed to find us and do their best to make our day hell.

One memory from those days stands out the clearest. It was another long hot summer, like all summers seemed to be back then. We were down at her families newly purchased holiday house at one of Victoria’s prized seaside holiday destination. My cousin and I had just gotten back from the beach and after grabbing a bit to eat we went and watched the boys play table tennis in the games room.

For some reason we managed to become part of their game. To this day I’m still trying to find the rule where you had to smack at least one ball per rally at the people watching. So to get back at them we decided to stick around and do our best to annoy them. My cousin rummaged through her tape collection and found a song that would annoy the shit out of them, in fact it’s still managing to annoy the shit out of many people to this day.

With the two spare table tennis bats in hand we stood at the side of the table and pretended to sing the words to Love Shack by the B52’s. For some reason the balls being hit at us increased but we kept on singing. And I wonder why they didn’t batter an eyelid when they found out I was gay.

On Saturday my cousin walked down the isle in one of Melbourne’s Leafy suburbs. As she came down the isle, nervous as hell, I couldn’t help but think back to those innocent days. Unfortunately I don’t get to see much of her these days. In fact I see more of one of her brothers who is forever trying to treat one of my many sports injuries.

So congratulations A, I’m sure, in fact I know that you and T will have be happy together in your very own Love Shack.

Sunday Night At The Movies

2007-09-23T11:06:00.000+10:00

The Mountain King. Part 2/2

Weekend iMusic

2007-09-22T09:31:00.000+10:00

Do you remember when you were a kid and either a song, jingle (are they still called jingles?) or kids show came on the T.V and all your attention was diverted to the Telly? Whatever it was made you happy and would result in you singing or bopping along.

Well I've found myself doing just that whenever the new iPod ad comes on the T.V. You know the one, it goes like this, huh hum... One Two Three Four, tell me that you love me moRE..... sorry about that last note, I know I shouldn't sing but I couldnt help myself.......

Feist. One Two Three Four

Island dreaming. Part II

2007-09-19T18:33:00.000+10:00

Far off in the distance thunder cracked. The rumbled stirred and then made its way across the ocean, settling over the broken down spa. Things were also electrifying in the spa as well, well in my mind anyway. By now the new stranger’s nervousness had eased and he became quite chatty. I sat to the side of him just watching the way he carried himself while my mate quite happily made small talk.

We had been in the spa for well over an hour. The sun had now fallen below the palm tree canopy, but it was already hot enough without direct sunlight. It also didn’t help that the sun shone directly into my eyes blocking my view of The Stranger. I held my hand in front of my eyes blocking the sun and noticed a small pocket of shade on the other side of the spa. While finishing my probing question for The Stranger I swam over to the shaded spot. I turned around and to my surprise I was now directing in front of him.

With a need for more sun or no other reason other than to get out of the spa, he stood up revealing most of his upper body. He then turned around and lifted himself out of the spa and laid on the edge with his hands behind his head. His whole body was now fully exposed to the sun which now sun kissed every part of his bare skin.

Although I wanted nothing more than to stay in the spa and find out more about this guy, the dinner drum banged somewhere on the island. Like Eloi’s from The Time Machine the drums put the island under a trance which nothing could break, not even a sun bleached Adonis. The Stranger joined us on the walk back to the huts. With narrow paths, flanked by thick tropical plants it was impossible not to knock arms or other parts of another’s body. As we neared the middle of the island, were the accommodation huts were located, the path narrowed further. I was standing at the side of The Stranger, maybe by accident, maybe not, as we reached the gate to the village.

The gate was small and narrow and only one person could pass through it at a time. The Stranger and I both stoped and faced each other prompting the other to go forward. I faced the gate and then turned back to him and told him to go through first. As I did I found myself gazing into his dark brownie greenish eyes, I was now lost. I could have taken him there and then if it wasn’t for my mate being there. Either sensing something stirring or just share hunger my mate pushed us both out of the way shouting move it ladies as he ran back to his hut.

We both picked ourselves up from the ground and dusted ourselves off. “Are you guys going to be at the bar after dinner?” ask The Stranger still brushing off the islands foliage.
“Yeah, we’re there every night, there’s not much else do after dinner.” I replied as I retreated back to my hut leaving him standing at the gate. “Well I might see you there later on” shouted The Stranger as he stood there in the darkening light.

To be continued…..

When I grow up......

2007-09-19T16:26:00.000+10:00

.... I wanna have a vacant stare like Brandy.... I mean be a Quick Change Artist.

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXVIII

2007-09-18T10:30:00.001+10:00

Don't choose Scissors!

2007-09-17T17:58:00.000+10:00

Dear Diary,

After losing another Paper, Rock, Scissors competition to r*yan I was the designated driver for the night. Our destination was the Witness Protection Program Social Club’s eighth birthday party. Always a great night out and a must on any gays social calendar.

For reasons I can’t remember, we were unable to attend the last party which saw Witness move venues. The last venue was stylish, trendy and seeing as it was in a warehouse, it gave off the impression that we shouldn’t be there. The new venue is just as trendy and stylish but what’s with Witness and stairs??

As the night rolled on the dance floor grew and before I knew it we were into the wee small hours of the morning. While having a great time I somehow took my eyes off r*yan, who by now was off his face. Normally it’s me who by this time of night is unable to string two words together. After his kissing buddy for the night had decided to make tracks, he wanted to leave too.

It wasn’t until we were out on the street that I realised how drunk he was. And so began a long drive home, complete with frequent stops, scenic views of Melbourne’s nature strips and a car that required a good clean on the passenger side door. Ah Witness, you did it again!

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. On Saturday after sleeping in until about mid day I went off to Highpoint and bought a few DVD’s. It’s been a while since I’ve had a Saturday off from doing anything, so sitting on the couch watching DVD’s was sheer bliss.

Sunday morning I headed into the gym which is quiet routine. Unfortunately this visit proved to be a bit painful. I’m unsure of how I did it but I managed to fuck up my left foot once again. It had only just gotten better after I twisted it the other week, so I’m really not in the mood to still be hobbling.

On Sunday afternoon I went to the movies with M1 and his girlfriend to see Hairspray. It was quite good, better than I expected and John Travolta was fantastic as the Mother. The only downside was the main character. She was good but I couldn’t stop looking at her butt. And unfortunately due to being short and overweight all her dance moves looked the same, it was a little off putting, kinda scary even!

Sunday Night At The Movies

2007-09-16T14:14:00.000+10:00

D.u.p wishes to advise that the following program is rated G.A for Gay Audiences, tissues by your side are recommended. The following movie contains:
Nudity
Sexual References
Sex scenes
And course Language
(Psssssst, quick watch it before Youtube realises it has nudity in it!)

The Mountain King. Part 1/2

What the F.......

2007-09-14T11:12:00.000+10:00

I was wondering where my bed sheet got to. Now how the hell am I going to get those tear stains out!

Island dreaming

2007-09-13T17:53:00.000+10:00

Once again, as it had done for the past three days, the sun shone brightly over one of the many small islands in the South Pacific. It was mid afternoon, and with no relief from the heat anywhere on the island a mate and I sort shelter in the broken down spa on the other side of the island. We sat there just chatting about everything and nothing. Our objective wasn’t to get to know each other better, there was no point, we had known each other for years, the objective was to try and get away from the heat.

Unfortunately cooling off without an air conditioner in mid summer in the South Pacific was down right impossible. The ocean was virtually the same temperature as the suffocating humid air that surrounded the island. Even though the broken down spa was outdoors it wasn’t really any cooler, however the idea of being in water on a stifling hot day was somewhat relieving.

A slight breeze moved through the canopy above, while far off on the horizon the daily afternoon storm clouds brewed. As the both of us sat in the spa a figure appeared in the distance walking up the beach towards us. As the figure got closer his body became more apparent. He wasn’t bulging with muscles like some of the guys on the island or like my mate on the other side of the spa. He was lean with just the right amount of muscle. His skin was golden brown and appeared like he had been following around the sun for a number of years.

He approached the broken down spa with a shy but confident smile. As he said hello I sunk my head under the water and mouth the words oh my god, how fucking hot! I slowly brought my head up above the water as he was introducing himself to my mate. He placed the palms of his hands on the side of the spa, his upper body then flexed as he lifted his body over the spa’s wall and then slipped gracefully into the water. As he settled, resting his back on the edge of the spa, I extended my arm to introduce myself. His handshake was firm but not masculine, my interest in this guy suddenly intensified, at this point in time I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

To be continued……

The lights are off but someone IS home

2007-09-11T23:07:00.000+10:00

After a horrible weekend I was hoping that this week would prove to be much more welcoming. Nothing special had to happen, in fact falling into a pile of shit would be better than last week. Well maybe falling into a pile of shit maybe taking it a little too far. How about falling and twisting my ankle really badly. Oh wait, no I already did that.

So to distress from the weekend I decided to hit the gym hard. Working out is a great stress reliever and also great for your eyes with all the iCandy that’s usually on offer. After my workout I still had a bit left in the tank left so I decided to do the Spin Class. Half way through the class I was absolutely knackered, but with the hunky instructor demanding that we go harder harder harder who was I argue with him.

With a quick stop at the supermarket I was off home to make dinner. Still feeling on a bit of a high from the gym, I arrived home and couldn’t wait to get dinner ready. But something was wrong, all wasn’t right in the land of DUP. After fumbling around trying to find my shopping bags I realised it was a little too dark, way darker than normal. I then realised that the lights outside of my block of flats were out. As I walked into my flat I turned the light switch on and off several times, each time hoping that I had flicked the switch wrong. Unfortunately my years of turning on lights told me that there was something wrong and that it was highly probable that the power was out.

There’s nothing more boring, annoying, boring, irritating and boring than a power outage. With no candles in the house I was forced to sit there in the dark twiddling my thumbs for two and a half hours. So it seems that my run of bad luck isn’t over just yet, in fact that pile of shit is looking more enticing.

Highs to Lows then back to High

2007-09-10T18:21:00.000+10:00

Dear Diary,

On Friday night after a long week of work and the need to get out of the house, I joined up with River and another friend at the Gay pub Stingo. River thought it would be good to check out a new place, and with the pub serving up cheep drinks who was I to argue. The place turned out to be nice but it lacked atmosphere. Seeing as it wasn’t busy, the three of us were able to talk. Well that was until the DJ decided for some unknown reason to turn the music up so loud that we couldn’t even hear each other shouting into each others ears.

I didn’t have a big night as the next day I had to play in the second week of our tennis grand final. Seeing as the weekend before all bar one of us lost their singles match, we had to win all four doubles matches to win. We had gotten to the grand final two years before hand and lost by a few games so we thought we had experience on our side. Unfortunately we were out matched again and went down in straight sets.

After enjoying a few beers after the match I was in the mood to hit the town. I had planned to meet up again with River and head off to The Market. While still at home I started chatting online to a FB who lives virtually around the corner. As it turned out he was heading into the city so I asked for a lift. He said that his sister was just driving him and his friends to the station and there wasn’t room in the car. I said that was fine and told him I’d probably see him at the train station.

My intention was simple, I had only planned on joining them until we got into the city and then I head off on my way. However the conversation that followed left me feeling down and guttered. I was basically told that he didn’t want to be seen with me with his friends around, and that I was way too gay. It was the first time that someone had said anything like that to me, and I didn’t know what to say. I should have told him to go fuck himself, to go shove his smartarse attitude up his arse, but I didn’t. Instead I just sat there and sulked with fire in my eyes muttering sweet vengeance.

Now even more determined to go out, I tried contacting River to see what the go was but he wasn’t answering his phone. I then contact everyone I knew, gay, straight and even confused but everyone had plans. Instead I went and hired a few videos and spent the night indoors. As mentioned on Evol Kweens blog, The Jammed is a must see movie. To be honest it’s been a long time since I’ve seen an Australian movie this good, and how good does Melbourne look on screen.

Thankfully my weekend ended on a high note, literally. After seeing him a few months ago r*yan organised to see Eran James at Manchester Lane again. After reading his post on the last time he went I agreed to go along in a flash, and boy was it worth it. With a weekend that was far from memorable, being crooned was just what the doctor ordered.

Eran James- Halo

Sunday Night At The Movies

2007-09-09T17:44:00.000+10:00

Different

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXVII

2007-09-06T17:33:00.000+10:00

Why

2007-09-05T22:38:00.000+10:00

If you were to sit around a table with your closest friends, could you honestly say that you absolutely know the people before you? Even if you have known most, if not all of them from birth or an early age could you really say yes. A week ago I would have said yes myself, but today, it’s a different story.

I have a friend who was been married for the past 10 years. She married young, virtually straight out of high school. Out of all my friends she’s the only one that is married and from all reports things were going quite well. With three happy kids and a content but sometimes overworked husband, from the outside looking in she had a great life. Unfortunately reality is never as clear as your perceptions, for the most part it’s muddy and dark.

I met Norma half way through High School, we had a few classes together and as with most friendships we started out with small conversations, it ended with us becoming quite good friends. We never really hung out together after school but in the class room we got on like a house on fire. Somehow after High School we still remain good friends even though she was seriously involved with a guy who she would soon marry.

Not long into the marriage I became good friends with Norma’s husband Gary. We hung out, played sport together and it wasn’t long before he was apart of our gang. Over time I think it would be fair to day that I became better friends with Gary than Norma.

A few years ago his work became pretty hectic which meant that we didn’t see him very much. We met up when we could but with a wife and three kids, catching up was getting impossible, time was sparse. Unfortunately it turns out that time was only in short supply for one of them in the relationship. Unbeknownst to all of us his wife had been a busy girl.

Last week Gary called as she normally would, just shooting the breeze at first and then he opened up and told me that secret that he had been living with for the past several months. I knew that Norma had been suffering from bad depression and friends and relatives had gathered around her as she got worse. However that was only part of the story, the real story was much more serious. He told me that his wife had been having an affair for six of their ten year marriage. The other man was a work college of hers and what made it worse he became a good friend with him.

After he hung up I sat there trying to process what he had just told me. I was also a little up set that he took so long in telling me, I mean I thought we were good friends. A few days later I spoke with a mutual friend who had also just been told. It turns out that Gary hadn’t been doing as well as he had said. He had been agonising over the idea of telling friends and family for months, he felt small and ashamed.

Even sitting on the sideline it’s still hard to think with a clear head. I’m so angry at what she’s done, but I still see her as a friend. I suppose all I can do is sit back and watch as the cards fall. Hopefully the cards don’t scatter to far, hopefully they don’t cut harshly as they fall.

Nothing Pleases

2007-09-03T21:41:00.000+10:00

Dear Diary,

Well the first week of the Grand Final didn’t quite go to plan, in fact we got wiped off the court. We finished on top in our section by a large margin so we thought were in with a good chance to come away with a clean sweep. WRONG!!!!

We had the use of four courts so we all played at the same time. I was the first to finish, whipped in straight sets by a guy, correction kid half my age. As I sat on the sidelines licking my wounds, I watched the others play their matches. Unfortunately it wasn’t long before they too had all finished and only one of us had won their match. This means that we have to win very match next week to win, hopefully the kids can’t play doubles.

On Saturday night R*yan, another friend and I went along to see Katie Noonan at the Forum. You may remember her from such albums as Polyserena, Elixir and Two of a kind. Having fallen in love with her voice since her days in George, I just had to see her when I saw that she was playing at the Forum which was a perfect venue for her.

Now I’m not sure what r*yan did when he booked the tickets, but somehow we were placed into the Lesbian section of the audience. I was a bit concerned that we had gotten the dates wrong and stumbled into a K D Lang concert but the support act made several mentions to Katie Noonan so I knew we were at the right place. All in all it was a great night and Katie was excellent, but just a word of warning to any man, gay or straight. Don’t knock over a Lesbian’s box of Maltesers, it’s not a good way to make friends!

Katie Noonan- Time to Begin

So Funny!!!

2007-09-01T09:00:00.002+10:00

Roofie Roulette

Been walking long?

2007-08-29T20:53:00.000+10:00

Ouch!!!!

So there I was, running along in the group, running to our start point to start the Speed session (no not drugs, just fast running practice) and then down I go.

Eveyone else seemed to managed the two inch step except me. Oh the embarrassment, oh the pain.

No invite

2007-08-28T17:57:00.000+10:00

Once again it seems that my invitation to model at another underwear show went missing in the mail. I really must have words with my Postman.

National Underware Day

Gone

2007-08-27T16:50:00.000+10:00

We met on a dark rainy night, we parted ways on a clear and mild afternoon. It happened without surprise or shock, the signs were clearly written on the wall. With conversations that went no where and little interest shown by the other party, we were bound to part ways.

If I didn’t know any better I would have to say that my failed love life was solely a personal experience. However I know better. Gay love can be a fickled adventure, sometimes it works, but for the most part it doesn’t. For proof, I have to look at my friends who on the most part also fail in the love stakes.

One of them in fact is becoming a bit of a guru. He wrote a post the other week where he told a boy who said he loved him to tell him again after he Came. I sat there for a while after reading this processing what he said, as I found it wise and thought provoking.

So the other day when I told him that The Boy and I were no longer seeing each other, we had a discussion about boys and what they want. After the conversation we weren’t any closer to discovering the secret to keeping a man. What I was left with was another statement from River that showed he had thought about it a lot, and what he said made absolute sense.

River: “…….don’t worry about it mate, I’m over relationships too. It’s like, they’re all friendly and shit, and then once they get what they want, poof, they’re gone. I guess that’s why they call us Poofters!”

Heads Up!

2007-08-22T20:10:00.000+10:00

Although my last Banner was pretty good (thanks Dan), it felt a little old and outdated. So when I read on RCADE's Blog that he was offering free Banners I jumped at the chance. With a lame arse description of what I was after that would make any Graphic Designer cry, he came back to me with the outstanding design you see above. Thanks RCADE!!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXVI

2007-08-22T14:36:00.001+10:00

2007-08-20T20:50:00.000+10:00

Dear Diary,

I wish I could tell you how great The Boy and I are going, and tell you all the things that we’ve been doing but that would make for a very boring diary entry. After the first week we, meaning him wanted to take it a bit slow. Since that talk it’s gone so slow that I think we may have gotten a parking ticket.

So tonight while once again chatting online, the modern day holding hands, I had to find out what the hell was going on. I mean I don’t mind taking it slow just as long as taking it slow means actually seeing each other once and awhile. Therefore the question “so do you still want to continue seeing me” was asked. After about half an hour he didn’t storm off in a huff and I didn’t say anything that I would later regret. So we’re still on, but lets see where that takes us.

Onto other news. My tennis team has made it into the semi final’s of a final’s series that seems to go on forever. Two years ago we made it all the way to the Grand Final but for the life of me I’m at a loss to understand (I’m shit) why I was unable to win any of my singles matches, not even a set. Once again it seems the no sets or single’s win in a final voodoo is still hanging over my head which leads to endless teasing. Apparently we’ve got a good chance to get the bye this weekend and go straight into the Grand Final, I wonder if I can claim that as a win?

The other night the blogger formally known as R*yan, a few others and I went along to see a band which were great but the support band were equally as good. We were all standing around just chatting when they came on, but unlike during the first band’s set where we just talked, we couldn’t help but pay attention to The Hampdens. We slowly moved closer to the stage and were totally mesmerised by them. I think all ten of us even bought their CD single, had them sign it, had our picture taken with them (because we could) instantly transforming us into groupies.

The Hampdens, Generation Y

Confessions of a confused mind

2007-08-16T21:12:00.000+10:00

A young boy, no older than 13 flicks thought the Sunday paper reading the previous days events. With each turning page he gets closer to his favourite part. He isn’t searching for a latest release video, or a new Sony Walkman, he’s in search of something else. He reaches the pamphlet section and quickly thumbs through each one until he finds one that is suitable. The boy places the rest of the pamphlets neatly back in the paper and retires to his bedroom.

With a guilt that will last the whole time he is in his bedroom he lays the pamphlet open on his bed at the desired page. He places some paper towel on the ground and kneels in front of it. As he studies the well proportioned underwear model a feeling of normality washes over him. He is content and happy, and there is no confusion. Although there are also girls in their underwear on the same page the 13 year old boy couldn’t care less.

He looks at the guy and wishes he was able to touch his firm stomach and large biceps. He longs to be able to feel the stubble on the guys face, to be in his arms. He wants to feel inside his underwear, although he doesn’t really know what he would do with it he just wants to feel and look at it.

As the boy closes the pamphlet, he continues to kneel there trying to hold onto the feeling that had filled his body for the last few minutes. He doesn’t want to leave the room and return to “normality”. He slowly gets up, opens the blinds and then heads to the toilet to flush the paper towel, his only real reference to what just took place. As it goes down so do the feelings inside the boy, but as with any 13 year old boy the urge to do it all again won’t be that far away.

The boy walks out of the toilet and heads back into his make shift world. A world that he will learn to adapt to but will still feel at odds with. At the time he is unsure of his feelings, it feels right but at the same time oh so wrong. Unfortunately at only 13 he is unaware that such an existence lays ahead for many years to come.

SCRUMptious

2007-08-15T21:08:00.001+10:00

On Wednesday nights my running club heads over to Olympic Park for our Speed sessions. This is one of my favourite nights because there are a few professional runners doing their thing. These guys are absolute perfection and one guy, god bless him, must get a little to hot and just has to take his top off.

Although these professional sprinters are more than enough for the eyes, tonight we (the three gay guys in the group) were treated to another visual delight. The Melbourne Rebels, Melbourne’s very own Rugby Union team that unfortunately I knew nothing about. That was until I got home and did a bit of research. Unfortunately it seems that the fans of The Rebels haven’t got any camera’s to take any photos of these boys, and I gotta tell ya, their photo’s need to be taken!

Here’s there current ad that’s been on the Telly for the last couple of weeks.

Early days

2007-08-13T22:27:00.000+10:00

It’s been a week and a bit since we first met and things are travelling along quite nicely. Although to be honest I’m really not enjoying the early days of relationships. There are so many things to think about even though you shouldn’t really be thinking about them at all.

During the first few days I was just figuring out if I liked him or not. That’s the easy part, you just go along with the flow, just testing the waters. The hard part starts when you’ve established that you like him and start to wonder if he likes you. For me it’s this stage that things usually go pear shaped.

For me this stage means neediness. I want to be in constant contact with the new guy. Emails, text messages, phone calls, hell I would even use a carrier pigeon if I could get my hands on one. Thankfully I have learnt to restrain myself just a little and hold back on making constant contact. I mean he does need his sleep.

Above all else the one thing I really hate about the early days of any potential relationship is not knowing what the other person is thinking. There’s nothing worse than getting to involved emotionally when the other person doesn’t fell the same way. So far all the guys I’ve been interested in have come on all hot and heavy and then for some reason end it within a week or so far the longest is two weeks. Thankfully I don’t see that happening with this guy. I mean with cute text messages like this, I think I know where he stands……

“Good morning babe….. I miss you…..”

Mac attack.. correction Heart attack

2007-08-13T10:35:00.000+10:00

Hypothetical # 89

2007-08-09T16:22:00.000+10:00

You've just downloaded some unreal porn, but you have your boy coming over that night.

What do you do?

Do you "enjoy" the porn;

Wait for your man to arrive who is still hours away;

Or, do you "enjoy" both!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXV

2007-08-09T11:28:00.000+10:00

Climax

2007-08-08T22:47:00.001+10:00

As I opened the door he smiled shyly and walked inside. I kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hug as we said hello to each other. We both sat down on the couch and made small talk at an awkward distance to each other. My body was saying move closer but my manners were saying stay where you are, be polite.

We were there for awhile, just chatting when he moved closer and put his hand on my leg. I pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on the lips and then he laid there with is head on my chest. The both of us were interested on what was on the T.V but each Ad break we made out and held our bodies close to each other.

After dinner we returned to the couch and continued to get to know each other. Although looking all innocent, his demeanour was far from it. He wanted something more and it didn’t take a genius to work it out. We got off the couch and moved into the bedroom were we laid on the bed. The silence was only broken with the words “Can I stay the night?”

Unfortunately due to its graphic nature the following scene can not be shown. The D.U.P Classification Board recommends the following viewing.

Dimming lights

2007-08-07T16:52:00.001+10:00

The previous night ended on a hight note with a hug on the corner of Commercial and Chapel. The following day also began with a hug at Melbourne Central Station as trains screeched to a halt and the gates opened and closed with a thud. After the previous night’s date we decided to meet up again to “watch a movie or something?” There was one condition though, I had to hold his hand.

Before the movie started we changed seats so we could have a bit of privacy. As the lights dimmed and the movie commenced I took his hand, and he held on tight. Half way through the movie the large rotundas guy to his right started to snore. He took as his que to move in closer and nestle into my shoulder. After a while he looked up and moved in for the kiss.

Hours later we were still each others company either of us wanting to go home. Across the road from the cinema’s two gay men play footsies under the table while pretending to take interest in the football in a rowdy pub. With the hours dwindling we left our table and made our way back to the Train Station. My train screeched to a halt first, I boarded the train and took my seat next to the window where he was standing. The train lurched forward as it started to leave the platform. I waved goodbye knowing that I would be seeing him the following night.

Burning bright

2007-08-06T09:40:00.000+10:00

I stood shivering in the doorway as the rain soaked the footpath outside. With each passing person the automatic doors opened, allowing the bitterly cold wind into the foyer. For a while my concentration is lost as the wind swirls around me stinging any exposed areas of skin. As the doors close, sealing off the outside world my thoughts go back to why I’m there. I’m waiting, waiting for him to arrive, my first date since the Crying Man.

We thought about having dinner but decided against it. We agreed that they are way too serious, and sometimes dangerously painful. After a few suggestions we agreed to go bowling and then see what happens. As the doors opened again for the umpteenth time he walked through them. Within a matter of seconds I replaced my expectations of what I expected him to look like with what he actually did looked like. My thoughts were…. “oh”.

As the bowling balls tumbled down the lanes, subtle glances were exchange, each of us checking the other out. With the game finishing earlier than I expected and with nothing planned we stood outside, back on the rain soaked footpath. By now the rain had ceased but the air was still frightfully cold. We walked to the corner, uncertain if he wanted to stick around or not. I suggested that we go to a bar around the corner, to which he agreed.

The waiters buzzed around making a fuss as they do in this particular bar. We ordered our drinks and while the candle flame flickered on the wall next to us we made polite conversation that was neither forced or contrived. As the candle burned, the conversation changed from topic to topic. And with each new topic, more information was learned about the other. He was not my type but my type hadn’t done much for me in the past. The boyish looking guy sitting opposite me was not coming across as boyish at all. Each time he spoke the more I liked, he was smart, polite and gentle.

The smell of the burning wick was a sign that the night was about to end, along with the placement of the bill on the side of the table. Once again we were out on the street as one of the waiters locked the door behind us, turning the sign to Closed. The wind blew down the Lane way, almost forcing us to move down the street to get away from it. We walked into another bar, it appeared that the night had not finished.

mummy my tummy hurts

2007-08-03T16:55:00.000+10:00

Last night r*yan and I ventured out to see The Signal, one of the movies at the Melbourne Film Festival. Having a bit of time on our hands we decided to grab something to eat before the movie. Now as most of you know, I'm currently trying to train for a half marathon. So far its going pretty well. That was until last night. Last night my inner fat pig that has been suppressed for so long was unleashed in a big way.

We decided to revist the restaurant/cafe in the ACMI building at Fed Square. The last time I ate there, there were two other people with me and we shared a plate of Nachos. They were really nice so I ordered them again while r*yan ordered a duck risotto. When our meals arrived I remembered how huge the plate of nachos were (see above pic). I also remembered that cheese really isnt my friend.

After dinner, and a stomach full of cheese that would make a cow wince. We headed up Swanston St to get desert. Why I don't know, but we did. We found ourselves outside Trampoline, an ice cream parlour with deceivingly small cups which don't stop them piling in the ice cream.

With a stomach now full of cheese and ice cream, you would think that I'd had enough. Nope! We got to the Regent theatre a little early so instead of waiting outside in the cold we headed into a coffee shop for something warm. Not being a coffee drinker and not wanting to feel out of place I decided to order a hot chocolate. With no regard to my already churning stomach, the words "one of those caramel hot chocolate thanks" left my mouth.

With a couple of minutes before the movie we (I) waddled into the theatre but my stomach was in no mood to watch a scary movie. The only thing at the candy bar that could settle my stomach was a beer, and surprisingly it worked!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a to go work out with Richard Simmons

Youtube iCandy

2007-08-02T16:35:00.000+10:00

The other day while wasting time in Youtube I stumbled on Ben Sharkey. Most people who upload themselves onto Youtube are quite bad but once I viewed Ben's version of Michael Buble's Everything I was hooked.

He's even started up his own VLOG which has given me even more material to be his number one stalker..... I mean fan!! After watching his first VLOG I'm starting to think he bats for our team. I mean he can sing, he can paint and have a look at his apartment, it's immaculate!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXIV

2007-07-31T21:20:00.000+10:00

G.B.A.C Prize. Animals.... And the Winner is.....

2007-07-31T08:40:00.000+10:00

Drum roll please.. Bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, and the winner is? PS from Cook up some thoughts!

I think it's quite clear that PS really got into this competition, although I hear he's been spending most of his time naked up in Queensland so I guess this was just a slight transition.

Once again thank you to all of you who entered the competition (all two of you) and thanks to PS for doing a great job, congratulations.

Ladies and Gentlement, I give you Dragon!

Bloggers Meet the Forth

2007-07-30T16:48:00.000+10:00

With a whopping four Bloggers at the last Meet, it appeared that the meet up’s had run out of puff. The mission before the meet was simple; Kick Sydney’s butt in the numbers stakes! So with a strong advertising campaign that would make the Federal Liberal Party jealous, Melbourne Bloggers Meet #4 would hopefully get off to a good start.

The Meet was held at the Lion’s Hotel, a brand new pub in the middle of Melbourne Central. Ryan and I arrived first and grabbed a table out in the beer garden. I went and got the drinks while Ryan set up the Blogger sign. With the hard work done we both sat there chatting away, waiting to see who arrived next.

We thought we had a good position, centrally located and easy to spot. Not so for River. Even with his brand new phone with a built in GPS system he still managed to walk straight past us. With a quick call to find out where we were he soon joined us and now that we were a party of three we were almost past the last Meet’s count.

About half an hour later we were joined by The Melbournian and Michael Who? While they were at the bar ordering a beer and checking out the gay bar tender Urbancreature arrived. So in less than an hour we had surpassed the last Meet’s total.

Even though we were in the middle of a shopping centre the Sun still caused a problem for the photosynthetically challenged River. After playing musical chairs, which somehow only managed to benefit River, and I’m sure the reflection off Michael Who’s glasses still caused a mild burn on his skin we soon settled and the conversation got back into full swing.

The next Blogger to arrive was The Bow Meow Weow, a very shy Blogger who got so nervous he had to resort to sign language to say his name. However once he had a drink in hand he quickly settled, and in no time he had joined in on the conversation.

The next Blogger’s to arrive were Dan from In this life Ridiculous and James Leckie from Notes from the Jgeneration. The final Blogger to make it to the Meet was Yarraville Paul, one of my favourites and I think fast becoming a Melbourne institution.

Although she was promised as half time entertainment, unfortunately due to working double shifts and Bar20, Vivian was unable to make it. It’s a bit of a worry when you’re alter-ego has more fans than you do. Maybe she needs to get her own Blog, although I’m not sure how she could fit it into her hectic work life. Being a stripper and a whore sure does take it out of you!

So thank you to R*yan, River, The Melbournian, Michael Who, Urbancreature, The Bow Meow Weow, Dan, James and Yarraville Paul for attending. I hope you all had a great time, and hopefully you’ll all be at the Spring Blogger’s Meet!

Final Count 10!

G.B.A.C Prize. Animals.... Runner up....

2007-07-26T17:06:00.000+10:00

A big thanks to all those who entered the competition, I hope you all had fun. The runner up in the competition is from an American blogger who for unfortunate reason's had to terminate his blog, so he will have to go nameless.

His entry is simply called Monster Fish!

Hypothetical # 686

2007-07-24T16:06:00.000+10:00

When i was a kid I always got sucked in to watchingTV shows like Bewitched, I dream of Jeannie, Monkey (Magic) and the list goes on. Maybe I wanted to escape my life just for a bit, maybe I wanted a man like Darren or Major Nelson, or maybe I just wanted magical powers to peep into the bathrooms of my neighbour's? Who knows, all I know is that I wanted to have some kind of power.

So after watching Heroes last week my interest in a magical power has grown again, but which magical power do I want?

Do I want to fly?

Do I want to be able to regenerate?

Do I want to Time Travel?

Or do I just want to be a greedy bitch and have them all?

I've always wanted to be able to fly so I guess i'll stick with that one.

How about you?

Ten signs to know that you’ve drunken way too much

2007-07-23T22:03:00.000+10:00

One: You’re wallet turns into the ATM machine.

Two: It’s always your turn in a shout.

Three: You forget who’s party you’re at.

Four: Instead of words you start to talk in spit.

Five: A misunderstood comment has the drunken fat girl thinking she’s in with you.

Six: The fat girl even knows you’re gay, but because of what was said she’s really keen.

Seven: You start to find one of your friends quite attractive, much to the utter surprise of your Best Friend.

Eight: You see the guy you’ve had a crush on for ages. You dance with that guy, the guy moves closer but you’re more interested in the pretty blinking light at the back of the room.

Nine: When you de-brief about the nights events the words “I didn’t do that did I?” are uttered way too often.

Ten: You sleep in and fail to get to your parents house on time, giving them ever more reason to write you out of the Will.

Weekend iCandy

2007-07-21T11:37:00.001+10:00

Mickey Friedmann

Bloggers Meet the Forth. Reminder

2007-07-20T18:17:00.001+10:00

Melbourne Bloggers Meet details:

Where: The Lion Hotel Melbourne Central. Level 3, right near the Escalators.

When: Sunday 29th July

Time: 3:00pm

Sydney Bloggers Click here.

Brisbane Bloggers click here.

London Bloggers click here.

It appears that the Sydney Meet is picking up pace, so come on all you Melbourne Bloggers join us next Sunday!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXIII

2007-07-19T09:59:00.001+10:00

2007 World Nude Bike Day Special

I have got to find out where these hot daddys are from!

PGR Porn

2007-07-18T15:33:00.000+10:00

Dear Diary,

It was good catching my sister and brother in law last night, although I think they’ve been living in Tasmania for far too long. I cant for the life of me understand why they choose to live down there when it’s so cold. I mean with their professions they could live anywhere in the world. Don’t get me wrong Diary, I love it down there but it’s way to cold.

Walking from Spencer St Station, sorry Southern Cross Station (what a shit name) to China Town we got caught in the rain so we ducked in the nearest pub. We ended up in Pugg Mahones in Hardware Lane which was quite fitting as it was pissing down and freezing cold outside, it almost felt like we were in Ireland.

After a quick pint we recommenced out trek to China Town as my Sister was hung-up on having Thai food and was convinced we would find one there. Not having seen any Thai places in China Town before I was racking my brain trying to remember where any Thai places were. Then standing on the corner of Lonsdale and Swanston Streets I finally remembered one, Cookie!

After passing the sex shops, they were a little scared when I took them up the stairs to the restaurant. My Sister tried to remind me that we were looking for a restaurant and not a brothel, but once inside her concerns eased. In fact for some reason they were completely mesmerized by the place, as I said before, they really need to get out of Tassie more!
The other week while over at M1’s place, I loaded a few TV series onto my “work” external hard drive. The one I was looking forward to seeing was Heroes. When it screened on TV I only saw the first episode and then missed the second and the third so I decided to wait until M1 downloaded them.

The trouble with having the whole series at your disposal is that once you start watching it’s hard to stop. In fact I was up until 1am on Monday night watching episode after episode. Not only was it a great series the cast was so hot. I’m not sure if it was the tightly bunched tension scenes, the hot…hot sweaty bodies, the Petrelli boy’s taking off their tight, sweaty shirts, oh yeah, or the fact that most of the male cast had facial stubble ah ahh ahhhh ahhhhhhhhh….oh yeah….oh yeah…. yes…yes…… yes… yes oh yesssss!

Oh sorry, Diary, I think I have to go lay down for a bit.

Dear Diary: “Oh great, now I have to clean up this mess. It’s lucky he didn’t see these two pics.”

Or the link!

Spot the difference

2007-07-18T12:46:00.000+10:00

Help me out here fellers, can you spot the difference?

Oh wow, giant condoms!

2007-07-16T22:53:00.000+10:00

It doesn’t take me much to get me out of the house, hell I’ll even go watch two cats fight across the road if I’m bored. And boy can they fight. So showing me a promotional pic with a good looking man covered in cum will have me jumping into the car quicker than you can say “That’s not real cum D.U.P!”

After picking up the Liz Taylor effected (lazy) R*yan we were off to the Trough Faggot Party. As per usual we arrived exceptionally early, but that gave us some time to scope the place out. With private booths, dimmed lighting and giant condoms hanging from the ceiling, it looked like it was going to be a good night.

After a couple of beers the place started to fill pretty quickly, and we were soon joined by Dave and River. As per usual you can’t go out to one of these events an not see another Melbourne Blogger. First I spotted Aaron from Urbancreature and then Jay who was responsible for the fabulous giant condoms.

We had only been there for a couple of hours when River received a text message from his ex-boyfriend Levi, who was at The Peel. The message said that Levi’s best friend was also at The Peel. Not really the most earth shattering text message seeing that Levi makes Julian Clary look straight, but the thing is that Levi is still in the closet. A fabulously decorated closet though!

The look on River’s face suggested that he would die if he didn’t get to see Levi’s best friend at The Peel. You see, River had a major crush on Levi’s friend who was meant to be straight. This was his chance to get an answer, he couldn’t avoid the “are you gay” question in a gay bar could he. We told River to go as the look on his face was becoming depressive. But he didn’t want to go alone.

Although no one wanted to leave the Faggot Party, you can only look at big wide puppy dog eyes for so long before caving in. We were on a mission, a mission to find out the obvious. We got to The Peel and started the hunt for him. We were under the impression that Levi had freaked out when he saw his best friend and had left, but as it turned out he was hiding out upstairs at the bar. It didn’t take River long to hunt down his target and quickly asked him the question to which he replied “Yeah of course!”

I think his honestly dulled the excitement for River, it was no longer a mystery, it was all out in the open now, there were no more secrets. You would think now that you know that your best friend is also gay and also in the same bar, you would have heaps to talk about. Nope, not these two, one was down stairs and the other up. Hiding out, to scared to see each other, or maybe too embarrassed.

For some reason we all found ourselves upstairs in “the” rooms chatting about the nights events. Bored out of my brains I needed something to pass the time. Although I would have preferred to be a participant in the activities on the opposing table, watching three very good looking guys pull, suck and almost fuck would do.

So it seemed that the night started out with cum all over a guys face and possibly end with three cum soaked guys. It was also looking that by the time they finished they would need one of Jay’s giant condoms. Either that or a giant napkin to tidy up the mess.

The Adventures of He-Man (Previously know as The Quest)

2007-07-13T12:12:00.001+10:00

Okro: “Ok, now I must get us off this ship. I got us here and I’m going to get us off it. Now….. what was that spell that made that wormhole…. Oh yeah”

Orko raises his hands in the air and casts the wormhole spell. A cloud of smoke suddenly engulfs Orko. The smoke soon clears and he finds himself sitting in the snow.

Orko: “Hmmmmm I don’t think that was the right spell”

He raises is hands and tries to reverse the spell. It works, he’s back were he started from.

Orko: “Well that didn’t work, maybe I should go tell Adam that I may…....”

Skelator: “Ah ha, I got you my pretty, and your little dog too. Oh wait wrong line. I gotcha you little menace. Mmmmmmhahahaha!"

Orko: "Ah bugger it! Adam isn't going to like his!"

Skelator: "So Orko, what are you doing on Darth Vadar's Ship? What are you and and the others up to?"

Orko: "Well you see..... we were...... well you see.... ummmmmm... would you believe we were here for a picnic? No I didnt think so..."

Skelator: "Well since you wont talk, lets go pay Adam a visit hey."

Skelator, Evil Lyn and Beast Man head off in search for Adam

Meanwhile on the other side of the ship, Teela is herself heading back to where Adam and the rest of them are, after shagging a Storm Trooper. With a slight glow in her cheeks and a tingle in her pants she heads off in the wrong direction. Unfortunately to her detriment she heads towards the Vagina of Death.

Adam: "Where the hell is Orko Cringer, he should be back here by now. If he's not back within the hour mark my words I'll kill him, I'll do it, you'll see."

Evil-Lyn: "There's no need for that Adam, he's right here! Mmmmhahahaha"

Skelator, Evil-Lyn and Beast Man: "Mmmmmmmhahahahaha"

Adam: "Bloody hell Orko, how did you manage to get captured in such a short time?"

Orko: "Well you see, I was ahhhhh, well I was ummmmm"

Skelator: "Silence! From now on I'll be the one doing the tal....."

Unfortunately Skelator was unable to finish is lengthy and long winded dribble due to the Ship being hit by a Meteorite. The blast is that strong that he knocks everyone off there feet. The Space Ship is badly damaged. Adam is thrown up against the wall and knocks his head. It hurts badly but he's alright. He gets up and notices that Skelator and his cronies are all knocked out as well as Orko. He heads over to them and grabs Orko.

Adam: "Come here you."

Adam dashes around the corner as Orko comes to.

Adam: "I guess I have to do everything around here. I think its time for He-Man. Can you see any one?"

Orko: "No."

Adam: "Ok. By the Power of Greyskull. Iiiiii hhhhhaaave the Poowwwweerrrr..."

He-Man: "Ok lets go find the others. I wonder where Teela is?"

Teela: "Heeeeeeeelp"

To be continued.......

Simple Mathematics

2007-07-12T15:54:00.000+10:00

If you grew up in the country or a tough neighbourhood, or maybe even in the city in the late 80's early 90's you would know the following equation Scarf + Boy= Bashing. Even though sometimes the temperature often dropped into the minuses as I walked to school I wouldn't dare put on gloves or a scarf. If you came from another school far far away and wore a scarf on your first day at school, well lets just say that you wouldn't wear it again. The newbies soon became aware of the vital math's lesion.

Another reason why you wouldn't be caught dead in a scarf was because of another equation which went like this Boy + Scarf = Poofter. Back then it was bad but now, seeing as I am a poof that equation could come in quite handy. Unfortunately it doesn't. You see thanks to the Metrosexual that mathematical formula now looks like this Boy + Scarf + Style + Colour - Metrosexual - Accidental eye contact - Sexually confused guy = Confusion.

With all these equations it can get a little confusing (along with this post) so it's probably best if you keep it simple. Even if you're shit at Maths you'll be able to follow this formula:

Hot Boy + Scarf = Hot

Now Hiring....sorry models only

2007-07-11T21:14:00.001+10:00

Dear Diary,

Well it’s been a busy couple of weeks without anything really happening. Most of my time has been taken up with all the running I’ve been doing. It started out just running on Saturdays with a running group and then running by myself for the rest of the week. I was then told about the Wednesday night run which has also turned into a Monday night run. For the rest of the week I have to squeeze in a couple of bike rides and swim sessions.

In every group there seems to be one social misfit who is painful to listen to and everyone does there best to avoid. However having one in a running group can have its upsides. Upside one, you’ll run faster to stay in front of him as you know dam well that if you fall back he’ll run with you and you’ll have to listen to him go on about his two cats and the enormous far ball. Sure Roald Dahl could turn that story into Children’s Literature, but this guy can not. And upside number two, he gives everyone else a conversation starter at the end of the run.

Last Friday I had to go into the office for the first time in months and it was the first time I met the new guy. After meeting him I’m starting to question my boss’s sexuality. It’s only a small company and out of four guys, all are hot. There’s Ice Cream boy, the one who kept feeding me Ice Creams back in summer when I was working in the office. The DILF, with the hairless plumbers crack. I know this because every time the photocopier broke down he use to fix it which usually meant that he had to kneel down showing his A grade plumbers crack. Some days, if it was a slow work day (which it always was) I deliberately jammed the machine resulting him the DILF having to fix it. And then there is the other guy who does the same work as me and the good looking but ultra ultra conservative Christian. Why would I describe him as ultra, well his screensaver is Jesus!

So with the new guy also good looking, nice and did I mention hot, I’m really tempted to ask my boss to come out with me one night to help me pick up guys. He seems to know my type and he’s sure got great taste, although I should have realised that when he hired me!

G.B.A.C Prize Animals.... Update

2007-07-11T17:42:00.000+10:00

It's not long now until the closing date for the current GBAC prize. If you haven't started yet you had better get cracking as the comp ends on the 2oth July.

Don't forget to send your entries to downunderpants@gmail.com

Nice DNA

2007-07-10T13:17:00.001+10:00

Levi Poulter

Peas in a Pod

2007-07-09T22:17:00.000+10:00

I’ve known M1, 2 and 3 for over 15 years now. At first we weren’t the best of friends, each one of us hung out in our own groups which came together every now and then. It wasn’t until the later years of High School that several groups came together and we started to hang out more. After Hight School we all stayed good friends and then over the course of time we became Best Friends.

Some people are constantly making friends, M3 my point in case. During Uni he was always making friends and it wasn’t long before you could no long count his friends with your fingers. M2 was a same, always making friends, but M1 was a little to shy and either found it hard or didn’t want to make new friends. I on the other hand was content with my group of friends so I didn’t bother making new ones. Those friends that I did make were few but I still remain friends with them today, Volcom being one of them.

So when I came out I was forced to make new friends, gay friends. Although at first the M’s and other friends came with me to certain gay venues I knew that I couldn’t continue to take them. I had to break out of my shell and try to make gay friends. At first it was hard, in fact it was impossible. I met guys online and in the clubs but I was unable to covert any of them into friends.

That was until I met R*YAN. After reading my posts at the time he knew I had no one to go out with so one night he invited me out with him and his friends. The night went really well, we got on like a house on fire. We met up the following weekend and since then we have become good friends. But when did you that you have become Best Friends?

Is it when you can tell each other anything? Is it when you can be in each others company and not have to say anything, the silence is comfortable? Is it when you catch up at least three times a week and not get sick of each other? Is it when you have nicknames for each other? Or is it when you get upset and shed a tear of two when you’re described as a Gay Chum?

As it turns out the latter is how it turned out on Saturday night. We were at a local gay bar and an old friend of R*yan asked him how we met. He told her the story of how we met and ended the conversation with “…so yeah, he’s a good Gay Chum”. It could have been the numerous beers, or the three Cowboy Cock Suckers that I had downed earlier but those two words hit a chord that really hurt. In my mind I thought our friendship meant more, I thought we were closer than just Chums.

Even though he had said it deep down I knew he didn’t mean it. As soon as the words left is mouth the look on his face suggested that he wanted to take it back. The next morning as I woke with a mouth feeling like a cat had slept in it, I found an email in my inbox that was sent hours earlier. The email was from R*yan, he explained why he had said it. As it turns out he had been thinking the same thing, but until he had to actually describe our friendship he wasn’t sure if I felt the same way. It became pretty clear that I did when I required a tissue to wipe the tears away.

Lost in Sweden

2007-07-04T17:02:00.000+10:00

After a miscommunication at the Physio today I had to kill some time until my rescheduled appointment. Wondering what to do to kill time I somehow found myself outside the Ikea store in Richmond. Never having been into an Ikea store before, I thought I’d go in and check it out.

In need for a new desk I thought I’d head straight to the office furniture section. I found the map to get my bearings and headed in the direction where the desks were. As soon as I left the map I was already lost. I turned around to head back to the map but the arrows on the floor indicated that it was one way traffic and the hordes of people behind me all look at me in unison with their eyes suggesting don’t you dare turn around and go the wrong way.

After a lengthy and bewildering search I finally found the office section but I no longer cared about looking at desks, I just wanted to get out. By now my trust in the exit signs had all but faded but I decided to give it one last crack. I got up from the assemble it yourself ergonomic chair and followed the sign saying exit. In this particular section of the store there wasn’t as many people so I was able to quicken up my pace. I passed the buy two side tables get a lamp for free, and the absurdly priced but fairly practical shelving units, and just headed for the exit. Finally I made it back to the stairs I had gone up at the start. As I descended the stairs my claustrophobia subsided, I could see the sky out of the windows that adjoined the staircase.

I hit the bottom of the stairs and walked out of the doors only find myself in another section of Ikea. I looked down at my watch and noticed that I didn’t have long to go before the Physio appointment. Now having a better understanding of Alice in Wonderland I continued on to the front doors, wherever they were. As I stood there figuring out which direction to go I noticed that the majority of young men in this place were pushing prams. I guess they too had gotten lost years ago and after failing to find the exit they decided to settle down and have good looking practical Swedish children.

After another ten minutes I was no closer to the front doors and by now I was beginning to slow down to have a look at the unusual furniture that was on offer. At one point I couldn’t decide if I like the Billy Bookcase or the Expedit. They both looked so good and were exceptionally priced.

With several items in my trolley I finally made my way to the front registers minutes later. As I stood there waiting for the line to move I turned my head to one side and saw The Exit. Like a contestant in a hypnotism show I snapped out of my Scandinavian induced trance and looked down at my trolley full of exotic items that I had no room for or really needed. I ditched the trolley and ran out of the place.

I got to the ticket machine to get my exit pass but I couldn’t find the ticket. Ah shit I thought as I looked back at the store. As I knelt down on the ground with my head pointed towards the sky screaming “Nooooooooo” several dozen crows took off from the carpark roof behind me. I guess I really did need that Billy Bookcase I though as I walked head slumped back into the store.

Bloggers Meet the Forth

2007-07-03T21:45:00.000+10:00

Ok all you Melbourne Bloggers, it’s time to get together again. The last meet didn’t really go very well and unfortunately we were out done in the number stakes by the Sydney Bloggers which prompted this comment “We did much better than the Melbourne meet up! Once again Sydney beats out Melbourne!”. Now we can’t have that happen again can we? I mean we all know Melbourne is way better than Sydney!

This time the Blogger’s Meet is going Australia wide, well the Eastern States so far, and even Global. Once again Not So Single Guy will be running the Sydney Chapter, PS in Brisbane and the delightful Humming Bird on Hyde in London Please check these guys Blogs in the coming days for the location and details of the Meet.

So for us Melbourne Bloggers the details are as follows:

Where: The Lion Hotel Melbourne Central. Level 3, right near the Escalators.
When: Sunday 29th July
Time: 3:00pm

If anyone would like to host in a City or a Regional area please contact me and I’ll put the message out there for people in your area to check your Blog.

I do!

2007-07-03T18:01:00.000+10:00

On the weekend one of my Mates held a dinner party and after a few bottles of wine he let us in a secret. He told us that he was about to propose to his man of two and a half years. We all gushed like little girls at a Barbie sale after he showed us the ring.

It was all very exciting and you could see that he was really in love. The only sad thing is that they cannot officially get married or officially. Sure there’s the Melbourne City Councils gay register but it’s not really the same. And as a friend told me, it’s a copout.

So when it came to my attention today of a petition organised by GetUp! to pressure politicians for equality for same-sex de facto couples in Australia

So if you would like to show your support simply click here and sign the petition. I mean don’t you all want to walk down that aisle with your special guy?

Oh and by the way, if anyone was thinking about marrying me, you don’t have to spend a fortune on a ring. We had a look online and all the rings I liked where dirt cheap. I guess it just proved the obvious, I’m cheap and nasty!

Orgasmabot's

2007-07-02T16:53:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I ventured out into the cold to see Transformers hoping to death that I wouldn’t be left feeling disappointed. And much to my delight I wasn’t, I think I even left with a sticky trail behind me when leaving the cinemas.
You could tell that everyone who worked on the film loved what they were doing and put a lot of effect into every aspect of the movie. There was no shitty story line (Shrek the Third) and there was no wacky sub plots (Spider Man 3) put into the mix just to shit you.

The movie was that good that when I got back to my car I was so disappoint to see a Hyundai logo instead of the Autobot one. My car even had the audacity to make me drive all the way home, lazy piece of shit.

If you were anything like me and were a fan of the cartoon series when you were a kid, do yourself a favour and go see this movie. Instead of a tissue you'll need a towel to clean up the mess you'll make at the end of the film.

Goodbye Q + A

2007-07-01T20:33:00.000+10:00

Last Thursday night was always going to be a big night seeing as it was the last Q&A which was co-ran by fellow blogger Man About Town. Expectations were high and thankfully it didn’t disappoint.

After having lost the Paper, Rock, Scissors challenge (bloody Scissors, shakes fist) I got stuck with driving duties for the night. After picking up R*YAN and Dave we headed in to Smith Street way earlier than normal to try and beat the crowed. We parked a street away and headed to Barry’s thinking that we would just walk straight in as there would be no crowed. How wrong we were.

As we got closer we noticed a large contingent of people standing nearly two blocks away from Q&A. When we saw it the three of us all bleated out “That’s not the line is it?”. Unfortunately to our horror we discovered that it was the line, in fact it was the biggest line I’d ever seen. It was that big that it was almost becoming a tourist attraction.

After a lengthy five minute wait we became impatient as the line was not moving. I pushed R*YAN out of the line and said go and see if somehow we made it onto the door list. Being scared of the chick on the door he sheepishly refused to walk the two blocks to the door to find out. After another five long minutes I decided to trek down to the door and find out myself. As I was about to ask the door bitch (industry term) if our names were on the list Richard walked out in a state of panic due to a broken turn table. He saw me and told the door bitch to let me in. Due to being rushed I nearly walked into the place before I remembered that Dave and R*YAN we back up the road in the line. I rang them and told them to get their butts down to the door quick sticks. Much to the disgust of the people in the general line and the VIP line, which also wasn’t moving, we were inside in less than 15 minutes after arriving.

About a week ago I had thought about putting a call out to Melbourne bloggers to get down to the last Q&A for an unofficial bloggers meet but as it turned out I didn’t need to. There were bloggers everywhere. As well as Richard the Man About Town there was also Mike from No-Neck Monsters, the artistic Jay and the pint sized blogger Michael Who?

At one stage we were all standing around having a chat. I went and got a drink and on my return everyone had somehow teamed up and there was a lot of tongues down throats. Due to this the conversations had ceased so I decided to go for a walk. I met up with Mike who by now was well lubricated. We had a quick chat and then I stood up near the bar just to watch the passer by’s. To my right there was a youngish guy (which made up the majority of the crowed) standing by himself. Buzzing around him was another youngish guy who looked like he was trying to get his attention. He came up close to me and I told him that he was already making it obvious that he liked the other guy and told him to just go up to him. He then said that he wasn’t looking at the other guy he was looking at me.

Although being quite cute, after about five minutes his age started to show. Along with his immaturity he was also very drunk with the memory of a gold fish. Several times he commented on how good looking the guy across from us was and several times I had to tell him that the guy he was checking out was actually a chick. At one stage I turned my back and when I turned back to him he had crossed the hall and was standing next to the chick he fancied. I walked over to him and told him again that it was a chick and now that he was within a meter of her it actually registered. It was at that time I thought it best to leave him before the lesbian got pissed off and possibly kill him.

Even though we were all having a great night, at around three o’clock it was time to leave. However due to a slightly drunken passenger (R*YAN) it would be another few hours before I got home due to far to many spew stops. Note to self, invest in spew bags.

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXII

2007-06-29T10:56:00.000+10:00

My head hurts to much at the moment to Blog about last night so I'll post an equally important post, the Drunk boys.

This post is dedicated to Mr Watts, thanks for last night! I owe you a cider or three!

(Warning: This post contains photos of erect penis's. This site wishes to advise that it does condone such images.)

Neon Lights

2007-06-27T20:53:00.000+10:00

G.B.A.C Prize.... Update

2007-06-26T19:39:00.000+10:00

Well after a few weeks there has been quite a few entries (one) for the third GBAC competition, and so far the stadard is pretty high.

Now if anyone paints anything like Mr Coolidge cute painting "Looks like four of a kind" they are sure to come close to winning. Aren't they cute!

That'll teach me......

2007-06-25T21:02:00.000+10:00

When I started working from home I was a good boy. The T.V was always turned off, along with anything else that would distract me. How things have changed!

A few weeks ago I received a message from R*YAN asking if I wanted to meet him and a friend for lunch. With an amazing ability to be unable to say no I went along. Somehow between the Parma and the hot fudge sundae I was talked into going to see a movie. So the quick catch up for lunch turned into a three hour sager all while I should have been back home working.

I thought that considering I only had one job to do for the rest of the day it was all good, well so I thought! After checking my emails I discovered that my boss needed several jobs stat. So my day out while I should have been working came back to bite me in the ass. To finish the urgent jobs I was up to 10pm finishing them. That’ll teach me.

But it didn’t teach me at all, there was more disgraceful work ethic to come. For some reason on Friday I had a gay hook up site running in the background, as you do. At around 11 in the morning I received a message and so began a back and forth email convo that would hopefully result in me getting some afternoon delight.

The guy didn’t have a pic but said I wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m not sure what mirror he had been looking into but when I arrived I was disappointed. We walked up to his bedroom and started to fool around, but not for long. After he went down on me I returned the favour but there was this horrible smell so I came straight back up for air. From then on I got a bad unhygienic vibe from this guy and I couldn’t stay. I pulled up my pants and told him that I wasn’t up for it and excused myself and returned to work.

That’ll teach me! (no probably not)

Vivian's New Fish Net Stockings

2007-06-23T11:44:00.000+10:00

Word of warning when you go shopping for the essentials, bread, milk, lube etc. Don't take Vivian! You'll end up walking out in something tight and revealing.....

Meme Time

2007-06-21T19:51:00.000+10:00

Well I’ve been Memed by two Bloggers, YarravillePaul and R*YAN. You could say I’ve been gang memed.

So eight things about me that nobody knows hey………. Well here it goes…..

I don’t like Polo Tops, in fact for some reason I’m repulsed by them. If someone I know is wearing one, I’ll do my best to avoid them.
I went for my learner driver’s licence without reading the book. I failed.
I was a star in my sowing class in High School. I even taught my sister how to tread a sowing machine.
When I was born I had bad hearing. I was two and a half years old when I first heard a bird.
When I was 17, I stole a gay magazine from a Newsagency. I almost got caught.
My little brother use to bash me up!
I collect stubby holders.
I have a fetish for Belly Buttons. Fingering them gets me off. (too much info??)

I have tagged......

My life in the slow lane

Paul up late

Always Gay. Always

Daninokc

Whats in a name

2007-06-20T22:14:00.001+10:00

They say if the shoe fits stick with it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Leave it alone or I’ll break your fingers. All these expressions summed up the way I felt about my Blog before I was emailed way back in September last year by the meanies of a rival website with the same name. That email resulted in the name of my blog changing from DOWNUNDERPANTS TO DUP.

Well the other day while I was bored and putting random things into the Google search engine, as you do, I stumbled upon something interesting. It seems that the other website was a scam and I changed the name for no reason.

I was going to put it to a vote to see if I should change the name back to Downunderpants or leave it as DUP. However I’ve become fond of DUP, it fits like a glove, which is good because at the moment its farking freezing!

Drunk, Bored, Horny boys all with cameras. Part XXXI

2007-06-19T18:29:00.000+10:00

Take your marks...... ouch my legs

2007-06-18T22:21:00.000+10:00

I’m so proud of myself tonight but oh my god I am sore and not in a good way, or a dirty way and unfortunately Vivian wasn’t involved.

Tonight, on a freezing winter Melbourne night I ventured into the city to meet up with the running group that meets at Fed Square. I had planed on doing the same distance as I did last week which was eight km’s. There was talk of the majority doing twelve km’s so my plan was to keep quite and inconspicuous so that no one would notice me running off half way to do the eight km circuit.

Half way through, everything was going to plan. I was running just off the main pack, keeping out of trouble until, without trying, I somehow found my way to the front of the main pack, I was now leading! Eeek. This wasn’t in my plan. I tried to slow down but everyone decided to follow me, my plan was no longer working. Then just after the half way mark my plan flew right out the window.

By now I had managed to get back into the middle of the pack and as I was running down the hill of the Tan Track, the guy next to me asked me what my name was. I introduced myself and then he yelled out to everyone “Hey guys, this is D.U.P” to which everyone replied, “Hi D.U.P”.

As we reached the bottom of the hill we stopped for a drink and waited for everyone to catch up. This resting period gave everyone a chance to ask me what distance I was doing. I told them that I was doing the eight km run but everyone insisted I do the twelve km run with them. With about ten pairs of eyes waiting for my reply I had no choice but to cave in and state I would run the twelve.

The next six km’s when pretty well. I managed to keep up with everyone until the eleven km mark and then my calf’s began to niggle but after an adjustment of running motion I shimmied, possibly minced back to the start line. So tonight, for the first time ever I ran twelve km’s in about an hour fifthteen.

As I said at the start, I’m so proud of myself and I would love to jump up in the air like the people in the Toyota commercial if I could stand up. In fact I’m now unable to walk, so I’ve resorted to crawling around on all fours. Well at least my floor is getting a nice buffing.

Dream like

2007-06-17T15:22:00.000+10:00

I met R at Q&A six months ago, and at first there was no attraction, well at least from my end anyway. A few days later we met up and sparks flew but then on his part the sparks faded into a slight glow and then the slight glow went out completely. We remained friends, but friends via text only. A few messages here and there and that’s about it.

The night we met I had eyes for someone else. He was mesmerising, he had eyes to die for, I wanted him, it was meant to be. I approached, I spoke, we stood in silence, I walked away, I was rejected.

On Thursday night I returned to Q&A with R, it had been months since we had spoken and yet we still had nothing to say. And when we did the conversation was forced and fake with little substance. I took him to the dance floor so we didn’t have to talk.

As we were dancing my eyes locked onto another. An eerie feeling came over me, a feeling of déjà vu, a feeling of uneasy familiarity. It was him, the other guy, the guy I had eyes for, the guy I was rejected by six months ago. It was a strange feeling, an odd and unwanted one. It was like I had been transported back in time. It was like I had been given a second chance.

I went home alone that night and woke up the next morning feeling content and happy. Even though it had only been hours earlier, the night still felt like it barely happened. It felt like a dream, a dream that stays in your mind for a day or so and then leaves you, never to be thought of again. I was like an eraser had been rubbed over the last six months. Two men from my past now gone, potentially making room for The One., Mr Right maybe?

Hypothetical # 239

2007-06-15T17:17:00.000+10:00

Which one whould you take home, the money or the man?

(it can't be both!)

The 3rd GBAC Prize. Animals

2007-06-13T21:04:00.000+10:00

Yes everybody it's that time again, its GBAC time! The last two GBAC prizes's were a big success but I think they were a little to hard. But do not fear, this time around there's not much thinking involved as I'm sure everyone has thought about this years topic before.

The task for this GBAC prize is "If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be?" As you can see my animal is a Willy Wagtail, it's not very exciting but every time i see one I can't take my eyes off them. I think they are the most cheekiest birds I've ever seen in action. I mean, how many birds do you know who will actually go out of their way to antagonise cats!

So here are the rules.

The Gay Blogger's Art Competition: THE GBAC PRIZE RULES....

The entry can be any form of art.

It must be yours.

Anyone can enter the competition, you don't have to be a Blogger. Readers are welcome.

All entries are to be sent to downunderpants@gmail.com with the subject heading GBAC Entry.

The competition closes on the 20th July.

I know that everyone who entered the first competition had a good time so get cracking people!

Take your marks...... Chasing Tail

2007-06-12T18:44:00.000+10:00

Well it’s been two weeks since the start of my latest physical challenge. The first week went pretty well, I actually managed to get up early one Saturday morning and join up with the gay running club I joined months ago. Normally I’m the youngest one there but this particular morning I was able to think oh hello, who are you Mr Tall Light and Handsome!

After the run I got talking to a few of them and I told them my half marathon plans. One of the guys said that a couple them were in training for a full marathon and asked if I wanted to join them on Wednesday night for another training session. Since training by oneself is a tad dull and boring I happily agreed.

The Wednesday night session ended up being a blast. The rest of the guys were doing the speed session so I went along with them. We ran from Federation square over to Olympic Park. We split up into groups, with the more experienced guys and girls joining one group and us not so experienced joining another. Half way through I was feeling a little knackered but as I turned the bend to lead into the straight my energy levels seemed rise. It may have had something to do with the finish line being in sight but it had more to do with the hot muscle sprinter who just happened to be doing his sprints up and down the finishing straight. OMG!

The following Saturday I joined up with the running group again and Mr Tall Light and Handsome (TLH) was there. After the run a few of us had a good chat about the previous Wednesday night and to my delight TLH stated that he also went on a Monday night by himself and said if I was interested to come along.

As you guys know it doesn’t take much for me to go chasing after guys, so of course I went along! Although he wasn’t the only reason why I went along, having a nice ass to follow doesn’t hurt. The run last night was an 8km run and I could only keep up with TLH until about the 6km mark and then his ass began to disappear into the darkness only to reappear back at Fed Square! YAY!

Bloody Cartoons. (shakes fist)

2007-06-10T21:25:00.000+10:00

Thankfully I don’t do a video or pod casting Blog because at the moment it would be very quiet. You see, I’ve nearly lost my voice, and it’s not because I’ve got a cold or a throat infection, oh no. And it’s not because I’ve got an undiagnosed decease or cancer, I mean that would be a normal and sensible reason for my loss of speech.

My reason is a little more childish, and a little more fun, at the time! You see, late last week I went a saw Shrek the Third. Although the movie wasn’t that great or memorable there was one scene I couldn’t get out of my head. This scene in fact……

Seeing as it was stuck in my head I thought I’d make the most of it and try and mimic Pinocchio. At first it just started out in the shower, but then it got to a point where I started to use parts of the dialog in conversations. My “well ah” and “on the contrary” became a smash! But alas my body knows its limitations more than I do and I’m beginning to think that I should have played the part of Prince Charming. I mean being pompous and arrogant is more soothing. Now I wonder if this sort of injury is covered under Medicare?

Doctor: “So how do you manage that?”

Me: “Well ah… ouch! Cough cough cough!”

Fairwell Q&A!

2007-06-08T17:59:00.000+10:00

Today over at one of my favourite blogs, Man About Town, I was a little saddened to read that Q&A will be finishing up on the 28th June. Q&A was the first place I went to out on the "scene", it was the first place Vivian got a taste for what she does best.

So for old time sake here's the post from my first time at Q&A.

Talk'n bout last night. 28th July, 2006

Last night I headed out for a night on the town with a fellow Blogger R*YAN. We had never met before, and had only chatted online a few times but he invited me along with his friends to Q & A night at Barry's in Collingwood. I had also been invited along by Richard the DJ/Magazine editor/Radio Jock/God knows what else. So meeting two fellow Bloggers on the same night was a bit daunting, but also exciting. I arrived a bit early but the taxi driver helped waste some time by regurgitating some old stories about previous fares that didn’t turn out so well. He had a few!!

I met R*YAN and his friend Curley Girl at a café up the road from Barry's. He wasn’t like I had expected, he was a lot of fun, very friendly and just a great guy. I could tell straight away that his Blog doesn't reflect what he's like. Late on in the night I told him! He he. Curley Girl was a bit more reserved but later on she opened up a lot more. So after a quick hello we walked over to Barry's to meet Hot Mummer, another friend of R*YAN's. She looked about 35 but later she told me she was in her 50's. I thought that was fantastic until she said she thought I looked 32! BITCH! :- )

Now the big part of the night was that I was on the Guest List, but unfortunately there was no line and we walked straight through. I told the guys that we would have to go back outside later in the night so we could use the List and look important! "Don't you know who I am? I'm D.U.P" I would have said!! ;- P

Once inside we went upstairs to chat and get to know each other. We talked about our Blogs, Gyms, Girls (for Curly Girl) and famous people who were gay. I didn’t know the guy they were talking about so I wasn’t really excited by the news as I normally am when I hear someone famous takes it up the ass as well.

Part of the deal with the Guest List was tracking down Richard the DJ to say hi. So we all walked down stairs, it was my shout so I went to the bar and asked the bartender if he knew where Richard was. He had never heard of a Richard and the three other bartenders I asked weren’t much help either. I decided to give it one last go but he didn’t know either, but while I was waiting for my drink the girl next to me had ordered Tequila shots. I can't remember how it happened but the next thing I knew I was licking salt of her elbow. Was it time to stop drinking, apparently not!

In the end I found Richard up in his tower, and he came down to say G'day. Unfortunately he couldn’t talk for long as he had an admirer who dragged him off somewhere! Woo hooo!

So after my shot, I went back to the dance floor, and with my new found courage, and with a lot of egging on by R*YAN and his gang I approached Levi's Boy. Arrrr Levi's Boy. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now for those who read the Lets Dance post, you may remember my pickup line. Well I went one better! Levi's boy was a stunner (I thought so anyway) but he looked out of place and uncomfortable. So how do you make someone fell comfortable…. Well not this! "Hi, you look really nervous"!!! What that fuck is that?? His reply was "ah no" with a look that said What the!

So that didn’t go well, I wonder why, but I did manage to get a kiss! Yes I got kissed by an attractive guy. He came up from behind, how hot, he said in my ear “my friends and I are playing truth or dare, and my dare is to kiss your head. Me: “Ok sure!”
We all danced for a while then it was time to go, although if I can remember correctly I didn’t want to, but I think R*YAN could see that I had had enough to drink! I really can’t remember what I was saying on the way home it must have been a hole lot of shit!

So that was the Bloggers night out. For the record it was a lot of fun and R*YAN is a very funny guy. Oh and yes nice breasts! These guys have invited me out again next weekend, so I must have done or said something right or they could just want to see what my third attempt at picking up is like!

Oh, I almost forgot about the Toilet appraisal. It was the same as the Witness party, very quite and not many men taking a piss. Its not like I’m looking for something in there, I just thought it would be a lot different. However, something was happening around the corner from the urinal. There was a line but I forgot to look when I went in. Oh well maybe next time I will join the line and see where it takes me!

If you want to read all the lies and rumours about the night, then go here R*YAN :-)

Now I wonder if Levi boy will be there on the final night? Hopefully by now he's over 18!